What a difference a year makes!

Our little girl is one year old today!  What an amazing year it's been.  We love you, Eliza.

Daddy's Girl

I just finished putting Eliza to bed.  It's hard to believe that next month she will be a year old.  Watching her learn and grow has been the most amazing experience.  The kids, Brenna and I are all simply enthralled by every little thing she does.  It's fun to watch her learning how to crawl and sit up, and she's even started pulling herself up to standing position now.  All standard fare for the first year of a baby's life, but remembering how hard she worked just to get here to our home with us makes us treasure every little thing she does.  

It's been particularly rewarding for me, because she treats me like a rock star!  As far as she's concerned Daddy is the greatest person on earth.  I was sitting with her in Sunday School today, and my friend, Jared, took her to hold her for a second.  She immediately reached her arms out to me making it clear that she had no intention of letting someone else hold her when Daddy was so close by.  Not unusual that a child would behave in such fashion toward someone who is not her parent, you say?  True.  However, when you see her do the same thing to Mommy, you'll know how cool she thinks Daddy is.  Observe . . .

Fortunately Brenna takes it all in stride and is glad Eliza loves her dad.  We laugh about it frequently and are just glad she's home with us.  Here's to being a parent!

Best Job Ever

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of this, but the other night Eliza was fussing, and Brenna needed a break for a bit. I took Eliza and put her in the "magic hold," where I have her back/left side against my stomach and the left side of her head resting on my left forearm with my left hand and right arm/hand supporting her body. She really seems to enjoy that. She drools all over my arm, but I really don't mind.

I walked around with her for a bit, and soon enough she was asleep. That definitely has to be the best job ever!

Here is a pic of the little princess in all her current glory (now five months old) followed by one of her with her adoring siblings looking on. She's doing great, and we feel very fortunate!

No More Oxygen

Quick update on Eliza is that we took her off the oxygen on Thursday. We put it back on her at night, and that has been going very well. She has her next Dr appointment tomorrow, and hopefully at that point we will be able to remove the oxygen entirely! She's been doing very well--the reflux problems seem to be decreasing, and she doesn't have problems nearly as frequently with overall breathing consistency. She's getting stronger!

Last night we had her on her tummy, and she was lifting her head up and wiggling around so that her body was moving to new places on her blanket. The kids got excited thinking she would be crawling soon, so we had to temper that enthusiasm, but it is so encouraging to see her taking these strides! Had everything gone according to schedule, she would be about two weeks old right now. Instead, she celebrated her three month mark on Sunday!

Big Weekend

This is one of those weekends we will always remember at our house. On Saturday Savannah was baptized and Eliza was blessed. What a great day! Little Eliza has come so far so fast that it all is just a bit incredible to think that we're doing regular baby things with her now. And Savannah was so pleased to be able to share her amazing day with her little sister.

The three girls looking good!

This picture of Eliza reminds me a lot of Madison when she was getting blessed. It's fun to be able to look back and have those memories. After having seen Savannah and Madison develop their personalities I am very eager to see what Eliza will be like. My guess is she will have a fighting spirit but be very insightful as to others emotions and needs. Time will tell. I just love being a dad and seeing these wonderful people become who they are.

The oldest and the youngest. It's very enjoyable to see how much the older children love holding Eliza and how cautious they are with her. She does lend a certain air of calm at times!

The whole gang! What a beautiful day, and what fun we had! Thanks to our family who traveled to be with us, and thanks to our wonderful friends who participated. I really felt the strength of the great men with whom I stood in those two circles. I can't think of another feeling to compare it with, but I won't forget it.

Eliza at Home

OK, I'm finally getting around to putting up some pics of Eliza in her new habitat. Give the old guy a break--it's tough being a parent to a newborn. Brenna and I have are experiencing the strange rollercoaster emotions of euphoria over having our baby home and exhaustion because our baby is home. Overall she's doing great, but we're remembering that newborns don't sleep through the night. And this particular newborn has reflux and routinely spits up with the added bonus that it often gets stuck in her throat making it very difficult for her to breathe. As you might expect Brenna has had some exceedingly stressful moments watching our little girl turn very red as she struggles to get oxygen into her system. No wonder she was having bradies in the hospital! So, we're finding it a challenge, but a challenge we embrace. She is absolutely lovely and we love holding her and watching her. So, that's the big update. Let me now get to the pictures:

Here we are leaving the hospital. Woohoo! We spent a couple of hours there making sure everything was in order, and then the nurse walked us out the door and down to our van (she had to make sure we knew how to buckle in her car seat)!



The big moment! I had gone back to church while Bren and Eliza stayed at home. When I brought the kids back Eliza was snoozing in her bassinett. So we took them up to our room and here are their expressions!

Such well-behaved children--sitting so peacefully while mommy feeds Eliza. You can guess how long that lasted!

The star of the show posing for all of her adoring fans.

Big sister looking the part.

All Together

Eliza was released from the hospital today! Brenna and I went down to the hospital about 10:00 and returned home at 12:30 or so. Eliza left the hospital weighing 5 lb 12 oz, which is exactly twice as much as she weighed when she was born eight weeks ago. Something about that little factoid that really sits well with the accountant in me. The nurse walked with us down to the van and checked the car seat to make sure all was in order and then we were off. Eliza was a great traveler, and we made it home with no complaints.

The children were at church, so I went over for the 3rd hour and was congratulated by quite a few of our gracious ward members. Often it seems they are as excited about Eliza coming home as we are. At length I collected the kids and we headed home. They could barely contain their enthusiasm. We walked in through the garage and had to go up the stairs where Brenna had Eliza sleeping in our room. Brenna had the video camera out and got footage of the kids heading up the stairs with smiles on their faces. I went into the room before them so I could watch their expressions as they saw her. She was sound asleep in her bassinet. When the children saw her they all got somewhat sheepish and shy smiles on their faces that soon turned into wide, wide grins.

We spent the rest of the day monitoring the kids and trying to ensure they didn't love Eliza too much. On the whole they did great. It's just hard to speak softly. For Eliza it must be like us going to a rock concert. Her tolerance for noise and rambunctiousness will definitely have to increase. But she took it all in stride and is doing great.

Hunter and Madison enjoy Eliza's presence, but Savannah is particularly taken with her. She just wanted to stay in our room and be near Eliza the whole day. After a while we were able to distract Hunter and Madison so Savannah could have a turn holding Eliza. We got her all set up on the bed, and she probably held Eliza for 45 minutes or so--both of them as content as could be. I can tell that Savannah is going to be a second mother for Eliza--and I mean that in the best way possible. She takes the responsibility of being the big sister very seriously, and I believe that will only be more true with such a little one now in our home.

The only downers at all with the whole situation are that Eliza still has oxygen, albeit a tiny amount. So she still has the tubes in her nose and a little oxygen tank that we can carry around in a shoulder bag. We hope that she won't need the oxygen too much longer, but we just don't know. It is nice that it is so portable, though. Also, apparently she has reflux, which means a lot of spitting up. Hunter was similar, and he soldiered through it all like a champ, so we'll just have to see how Eliza does. As a parent it's just painful to watch them go through the seemingly continual spit up routine. Also, because of the reflux she makes a lot of grunting and groaning noises. She rarely cries, but she is plenty noisy. Poor girl. When she finally gets into a deep sleep though, she is so peaceful and angelic.

We love having her home and are bracing ourselves for the real parenting work that has now begun. What a blessing!

As a postscript, we took lots of photos and video today, but we had to send Bren's laptop away to be fixed this week, and my desktop is such a dinosaur that it doesn't have the proper interfaces to download the photos or video. So, my apologies, but I can't give you any visual proof. You'll just have to trust me that she's home, and as soon as Bren's laptop returns we'll get on the stick!

On Hold

We're up to three straight nights with a brady. She has been pulling out of them on her own, but it appears that they stem from her having a bit of reflux after eating. So, she spits up and it changes her equilibrium enough that the heart rate drops. Nothing long-term serious, but serious enough that she won't be coming home for a bit. I've mentioned before that she has to go five consecutive days without a brady, so we're looking at late this week at best.

As you might expect it is a bit difficult to come to terms with. We've been on a bit of a rollercoaster over the last week-and-a-half or so. Once she took the bottle she started doing so well, that we basically thought it was a foregone conclusion she'd be home with us this weekend. Since that didn't happen we're a little unsettled as to how to deal with the situation. The emotions can only take so much, so now we're really trying to just stay on an even keel and not get too hopeful with the good news, but also not get too down with any bad news. No guarantees we'll be successful with that approach, but at least we're trying!

Sadly, we've become terrible at taking pictures, but I will say that I went down to the hospital this morning and fed her a bottle for the first time. Because I had been sick and then work has been busy this past week I hadn't actually held her for about two weeks. I was thrilled to really experience how much she's grown and to see how full her cheeks are and how her legs aren't little chicken legs anymore. She's getting so close to seeming just like a regular-size baby now. She's 5 lb 4 oz, and we know that a lot of full-term babies aren't much bigger than that. It's very encouraging, and she looks great! She's also very noisy. A lot of grunting and wiggling and complaining when she doesn't get her food in a timely fashion. She doesn't cry, she just makes noise. It's very sweet. I loved spending time with her today.

Delays

Little Eliza had a brady last night, so we're on hold again. Though disappointed, we are very comfortable waiting for her until she is ready. Once she leaves the hospital we won't have the ability to know whether she's having a brady or not. And the idea of having her here and something going wrong is a frightening thought. We would be heartsick for the rest of our lives if there were a problem at home that could have been caught and remedied had she been in the hospital. So, we continue to wait...a bit impatiently, but grateful for the technology that has done so much for our daughter.

One Day More

We just got word from the doctor that she won't be ready tomorrow, but she will be ready Saturday. We will pick her up in the morning. She'll come home with an oxygen tank since she is still not quite ready for room air, but she'd doing great and we're very excited!

Less than a week?

Quick update to last night's Eliza post. The doc just called and spoke to Brenna. They've taken Eliza off the caffeine for brain stimulation. They will now watch her for the next five days and if she has no bradies, she will come home on Friday. Wow! We never anticipated it could be so soon. Very, very exciting, but also a little nerve wracking. Watch this space for additional updates.

Leaps & Bounds

I finally was able to go back to the hospital today and spend some time there with Brenna and Eliza. Brenna very proudly took Eliza through all of her cares and showed me how well Eliza is doing with everything. The nurse was never even involved tonight--Brenna did everything! Bren has really enjoyed being more involved and feeling some sense of being in charge of Eliza's cares and progress. As she continues to grow and gain strength the parents are able to take care of more and more of her needs. It's a wonderful feeling!

As for specific developments this week, Eliza is progressing by leaps and bounds. She is up to 4 lb 11 oz and gaining daily. Tomorrow will be six weeks since she was born, and she has added about 2 lbs since then. It's fantastic to watch her grow. Brenna worked really hard on the nurses this week to get them to allow Eliza to take the bottle. Thursday was technically Eliza's 34 week mark, so Bren was pushing for her to try the bottle that day. The nurse was hesitant because they generally round down on the day of birth to the nearest week. So, in their records when they say she was born at 28 weeks, that means 28 weeks exactly. Consequently, the nurse felt that Eliza wouldn't be 34 weeks until tomorrow. Brenna persisted, so the nurse, with trepidation, allowed her to feed Eliza from a bottle. They had just upped her feeding amount to 40 cc's that day, so the nurse was doubly concerned. Well, the concern was unfounded. Brenna said Eliza just attacked the bottle and downed it completely without any trouble. The nurse was absolutely astounded at how well she did. So they have continued to feed her from the bottle, and she continues to do very well. They started with two bottle feedings a day (again, this was on Thursday), and when we showed up tonight the gavage was gone and Eliza is now being completely fed by the bottle. She took 70 cc's tonight and polished it off in about 20 minutes or so. Like I said a few weeks ago--a regular Paul Bunyan!

She also passed her hearing test today and hasn't had a brady for several days. The nurse tonight told us that she believes Eliza doesn't understand how old she is. They are simply floored by her progress, and we are very grateful to be participating observants (I'm pretty sure that's not a proper phrase, and generally people don't observe something and yet participate at the same time, but that's what we're doing here).

So, I guess what I'm getting at is that if things continue to go well, the timeframe for her triumphant discharge is going to be sooner rather than later. I will continue to tell people probably four weeks away or so, just to limit my own hopes and expectations, but in my heart I believe it will be much, much sooner than that. Eliza has exceeded all expectations, and we are thrilled with her tenacious spirit.

Leaps and bounds, indeed (shout out to Trent with the usage of that word!).

A few pics and a new video:


So peaceful. (We did have to ask the guard bunny to stand down to get a clear shot of her for this pic).


Brenna feeding Eliza her 70 cc bottle Sunday evening.


Still pretty tiny. It's hard to tell in this pic, but the blue pacifier is a regular full size. If you remember the purple one from the first few weeks, she has graduated to the larger size. It's still ridiculously huge in her mouth, but at least she's getting the real mccoy now.



There is no question in my mind that Eliza loves her mommy!

Continued Progress

Eliza is out of her isolette! They moved her into a regular crib on Sunday evening. She is now over 4 lbs and doing extremely well. She's doing great with her oxygen levels, her body temperature, her bradies and everything else she's tried. Now it's mostly a question of feeding. We're looking forward to her starting on the bottle either late this week or early next. Everything seems to be going well, so we're keeping our fingers crossed and sending prayers heavenward. Still no real time frame for her coming home, but it's likely four to six weeks or so. Seems like a long time, but when we think of how long she'll be with us we know we can wait these few, brief weeks to ensure she is completely ready to come home and be part of the family.

In related good news, and hopefully as a foreshadow of things to come, Eliza's first roomies, Preston and Sophia went home this last week. We didn't get to see their parents before they left, but Brenna spotted the Polaroid of them on the departure board. We're very happy for those fine families.

The only downer this week is that I didn't get to see Eliza at all. In most senses of the word I feel perfectly fine, but I do have a small tickle in my throat that leads to three or four coughing outbreaks a day, and the risk of getting Eliza (or any of the other premies) sick is just not worth it. So Brenna has been representing the parental units for our little one and doing a better job of it than I could muster anyhow. She comes home from her visits looking radiant. It is so fun to hear her talk about Eliza and see the growth of our daughter through Brenna's eyes. I'm glad Eliza has her for a mom.

It's been a while since I mentioned the effect this is having on the other three children, and the reason for that is because they are handling the situation like champs. Of course, having Brenna home with us and nearly back to her regular self makes all the difference. The kids are anxious for Eliza to come home, but since they don't know any differently, they are just rolling along from day to day and looking forward to seeing her. I'm really excited for that moment--I know she will be loved to the brink of danger when she makes her grand entrance. Of course, there will be a full report when that day arrives.

In other news, the kids and I are heading out to Utah this Wednesday for my niece's wedding. The kids are on spring break, so it's perfect timing. I'm excited to spend time with family and to be a part of the wedding. My nieces and nephews are such a blessing in my life. I really admire the people they are. And, I appreciate the fine example they set for my children. It's a great comfort to be able to point my children to any of their cousins and tell them it would be A-OK to follow in their footsteps.

Brenna will be living the high life for a few days and spending a lot of time with Eliza. She's even threatened to do a bit of organization around the house. I will be eager to return home to see how serious she is about the threat!

Now, we do have some picture updates this week, and our little girl is definitely changing. Without further ado...

This was taken about mid-week, I believe. You can see she was at 3 lb 11 oz at that point. She is now up to 4 lb 2 oz. It's amazing how she has just taken off. Perhaps by next week she'll be up around 5 lb. If she keeps going at this rate, she will be. But I guess I should slow down and just take one step at a time.

I love this picture. It really shows how much she has changed. She looks more filled out and older, somehow. For one so small a couple of weeks is a long time, and she is getting older. My heart just goes out to her. Her journey to our home will always amaze me. Life is simply incredible.

Yay! No more isolette. Eliza is the envy of the other premies as she enjoys her open-air crib with personal guard bunny. All the premies received bunnies on Easter, and it does serve to remind that Eliza is still pretty tiny. Frankly, the position Brenna has the bunny in for this pic is a little worrisome. I'm afraid the bunny is going to pounce. Reminds me of Monty Python's infamous "large, wooden rabbit."

All snuggled up with no isolette to regulate her temp. Don't you just want to hold her?

Week 4

Well folks, I'm afraid it will be a short update this week. Brenna saw Eliza on Monday, and I saw her on Tuesday and Wednesday. After that we were both sick with the sniffles and coughs and other various minor ailments. Not enough to truly consider ourselves sick, but enough that the hospital wanted nothing to do with us visiting the NICU. So, we've been anxiously trying to get ourselves better and calling down to the hospital for updates. A pretty big downer for us, but definitely good for Eliza in the long run. The last thing she needs is an overzealous parent to pass a bug to her. The doctor was emphatic that for a baby born at 28 weeks she is doing phenomenally and that we should stay well away until we are a day or two past completely better. So, we're biding our time and thinking of Eliza often.

The news on her end, once again, is all good. Early last week the NICU had another influx of premies, so they had to do some shuffling of babies in the various rooms to even out the workload on the nurses. Consequently, on Wednesday Eliza was moved to a new room. Goodbye, Sophia and Preston. We're sad to not get to spend time with their wonderful parents anymore, but Eliza's new room is actually quite a bit larger and very quiet, so we feel good about her new digs! Brenna hasn't been to that room yet, but she's looking forward to going down tomorrow (assuming we don't get too much snow here in Denver--they're talking about 18" overnight--yikes!). I'm still a few days away from being able to go down for another visit.

The updates we've received in the latter half of the week are these:

• Eliza is now up to 3 lb 8 oz. She's flying along! At 4 lb they will take her out of her isolette as they expect she'll be able to maintain her own body temperature at that point. I'm hoping for another week to 10 days there.
  
• She will be moved to "low flow" oxygen tomorrow, which basically means they will no longer be blowing any air in to help her keep her lungs open--she'll have to do that on her own. She will be receiving slightly more oxygen than room oxygen, but she is pretty low on that scale as well.
• She will start bottle feeding probably next week, or maybe the week after. Before coming home she needs to go 24 hours without being fed through the gavage. So, we have a while to go there.
• She's still having an occasional brady (drop of the heart rate). They consider them serious when they get down into the 50s. Eliza has been having about one of those a night, but she corrects them on her own without external stimulation, so that is good. She has to go five days without a brady before she can come home.

So, once she's over 4 lbs and still gaining weight, maintaining her own body temperature, being completely mouth fed and having gone five consecutive days without a brady she'll be able to come home. She is certainly headed in the right direction. I won't try to prognosticate a date for her to come home, but I'm very hopeful it will be before her due date. We look forward to that day with great anticipation!

Sorry, no pics this week as we didn't take the camera with us on any of our trips as we usually wait until the end of the week to get our photos. Just look at last week's pics and imagine her about 1/3 lb bigger!

Week 3

All good news this week! Eliza is getting extra calories with her feedings and she's been handling it very well. This evening she weighed in at 3 lb 3 oz. She's a regular Paul Bunyan! Here's hoping she keeps it up. She's still on very low oxygen flow and she wasn't under the lights at all this week. So she's doing very well. Every time we go in to see her she is just snuggled up like a papoose, and we feel bad about waking her up to take her temperature and change her diaper. But it's such a pleasure to see her wide open eyes and watch her stretch and wiggle around.


Tonight she had pulled the little oxygen tubes completely out of her nose and was breathing wholly unaided when I arrived. I don't know how long she had been like that but her oxygen level was exactly where it needed to be and the nurse (who is a very good nurse) was surprised to learn that the tubes weren't even in her nose. She was impressed with Eliza's lungs and we agreed that she is getting closer to the time when the tubes will be removed permanently. Every day we're getting a little nearer to her coming home.


As a side note about the hospital, we've really enjoyed getting to know Eliza's two "roommates" and their parents. Eliza is in a co-ed dorm with Sophia and Preston. They will both probably go home in the next three weeks or so, so they're a bit ahead of Eliza, but it's been fun to share the joys of seeing our children progress with those parents. It's comforting to be able to share experiences and realize that they know exactly what the difficulties are. In fact, both of them have had a far rougher time than we've had. Sophia was born at 26 weeks and weighed only 1 lb 8 oz. while Preston was born in a rural area at 31 weeks, but had no high tech equipment to monitor him and keep his lungs going, etc. Both sets of parents have had some stressful times over the last few months and we are so impressed with how they have handled everything. We're enjoying becoming part of that little community and are glad to have friends we can cheer for as their children do well.


At home Brenna is making great progress. She's been driving for the past few days and will make her first solo trip to the hospital tomorrow. That's a huge jump from where she was last week. She still gets worn out a lot more quickly than she used to, but every day is getting better. She tries to limit her trips up and down stairs, but she has resumed her role as boss, and the children are loving having mommy up and functioning. I'm pretty happy about it, too :-)


My oldest sister was in town for the past week and she did a great job of fitting right in and helping us wherever help was needed. Thanks, Aunt Jeanne, for your love and your willingness to help. We love you for it. And, thanks to the Cushings for letting us borrow their mom. We have been so fortunate to have family members willing to come out and help. What a huge difference that has made. We're so far in people's debt that we'll never be able to make it up, but the comforting thing is that we know people simply do it out of the goodness of their hearts. I was telling Preston's mom tonight that we read so many terrible things in the newspaper and see so many dreadful things on the news about what people do to each other, but my life's experiences have taught me just the opposite. There are so many good people who want to help and take care of others. People from all walks of life--we're all just people and kindness is something everyone can understand.


Anyway, enough verbiage. For this week just a few photos to share. Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and support. We know there are heavenly forces at work here.




Week 3 close up. We really enjoy the time we have with her when her eyes are open and she is looking around.





Here is Eliza's space--basically just her condo. When we come for a visit they bring in a glider (or two) for us to sit in. And that is how we spend our time with her.




Here's the first photo of all three of us. I'm looking forward to the first photo of all six (!) of us. That will be a very fun day.

Week 2

Eliza will be two weeks old tomorrow, and she is still doing very well. The only frustration we have is that she is not putting on weight. In fact, she closes out this week at only 12 1/2 ounces--still down by 1 1/2 ounces from her birth weight. Not drastic, but we'd rather see her gaining. They did put some additional calories into her milk for a couple of days, but that did a number on her stools, so she's back on straight milk now. The nurse said they'll try the extra calories again in a few days and may opt for a bit of a different recipe.

Eliza does enjoy her pacifier. When we put it in her mouth she will suck at it, and it seems the most natural thing in the world. It's just funny to see how big it is in her mouth. Tonight the nurse squeezed a few drops of milk onto the pacifier while it was in her mouth, and after a couple of minutes Eliza started sucking at it for all she was worth. It was really fun to see her reaction and understand that she was enjoying the taste and was having such a positive reaction.

Other than that not much has changed from our previous updates. It appears it will be a bit slow and go from here, but I'm just thrilled to say that no problems have arisen, and she is plugging along. She's doing great with oxygen and reacts well to pretty much everything that comes along. Just pray for her to grow.

A picture and a few videos from this past week:

Generally when we arrive Eliza is sleeping pretty soundly. But after we check her temperature and change her diaper her eyes are usually wide open. This is a good example.

And, a video showing those wide open eyes. She's doing great!

I love watching her go after the pacifier in this one. Not sure how long before they'll let her try a bottle, but her sucking reflex is pretty impressive. Also, her cap is just adorable. That will be one of my favorite keepsakes.

Love that little smile!

Closing Out Week 1

Things seem to be moving more quickly than I can keep up with now. But Eliza is settling into more of a routine so I expect the need for constant updates will decrease. I hope to update the Eliza situation about once a week going forward unless there are major events that warrant more frequent updating.

Three days since the last post and several significant things have happened. Grandma Brooke went home and Grandma Jean arrived. Eliza moved from the first NICU to the graduate NICU where she will remain until she comes home. Brenna and I visited the hospital together and were both able to hold Eliza--dad's first opportunity. Eliza is steadily increasing the amount of food she takes in--up to 17 cc's of milk every three hours as of today. She continues to do well without additional oxygen. She is getting 3 liters of mist and air flow per hour, but that is only to ensure her lungs stay open and her nose doesn't get dry and crack. The oxygen she is breathing is room oxygen that is the same as the rest of us breath. Pretty impressive for one so small. Tomorrow they will reduce her to two liters per hour and if she does well with that they'll reduce her to one liter several days later and eventually to none. She is still in her condo, and will stay there until she reaches four pounds--likely about three weeks from now. Probably shortly after leaving the condo she'll be ready to try bottle feeding. If she is able to do all of those things she will then be ready to come home once she puts on enough weight (not exactly sure if there is a clear definition of "enough weight." I think it varies depending on the child).

Having said all that I had a lovely chat with Eliza's nurse tonight, and she said that parents often have a very difficult time in these situations because they don't realize the process is generally two steps forward and one step back. The baby may be doing great with something one week and struggle mightily with it the next. She said that is the nature of getting a premie ready to go home. They are so little and work so hard to just maintain status quo that any tiny infection or other unwanted influence can really set them back. So, though Lindsay (Eliza's nurse) was enthusiastic about Eliza's progress to date she said it is rare for a premie to sail through the NICU without facing any problems. She wasn't trying to deflate me, but she was trying to prepare me for what may come. I really appreciated her approach and her willingness to be up front. Brenna and I are emotionally preparing ourselves for possible setbacks, but we remain optimistic that Eliza will be the exception and sail through. We'll see how it goes, but so far so good. She continues to exceed expectations!

OK, a few pictures. I apologize in advance for the videos. They are really dark and virtually impossible to see Eliza. However, if you are interested in following the situation closely there is some good info in the commentary. If you're just wanting to see how cute Eliza is you can skip the videos. They're not useful for that.

Day 5

Sampling the digitary cuisine.

Grandma Jean's first look at her granddaughter. This was a great moment to share with my mother.

Day 6

Dad holds Eliza for the first time. Not really much else I can say here. I just loved having her in my arms. Having Brenna there when I was able to hold her made it all the more sweet.

More demonstration of how tiny she is.

Mother and daughter both looking good.

Some useful info in the commentary. Sorry the video is so dark. Can't really make anything out.

Nurse Lindsay showing her off before putting her back in the condo.

Day 7

Sister Vickie Moore made this beautiful blanket. It now sits over the top of Eliza's condo to keep it snuggly and dark. They took the lights off of Eliza Sunday morning. We hope they'll stay off, but they may have to put them back on. We'll see how it goes.

Love the hiccups. This was a fun moment with Eliza.

Days 3 & 4

Things continue to progress well. Lots of pictures below, but some of the highlights are that Eliza has moved out from under the full-time lights (for jaundice treatment) and into her very own condo! She no longer has the big tube blowing air at her. She now only has the small nasal attachments that are providing a bit of warm mist for her lungs. She's getting 4 cc's of milk every three hours and doing very well with that. I'm really not sure what else to say about her--she's just a champ. Given her circumstances, I don't think we could have dreamed of her doing any better.

Brenna came home this evening. They took her staples (16) out this afternoon, and she is very sore (lots of burning on her right side--they tell us it's from damaged nerves due to the surgery), but she is managing well and is glad to be home and have the chaos of Savannah, Hunter and Madison buzzing around her once again. As those of you who are familiar with the C-section process know, she has a bit of a long recovery period ahead of her. It's tough to see how difficult even the simplest of movements are, but it is encouraging to see the day to day progress because it is very real.

The children are thrilled to have mom home and showed it in the way Brenna probably would have least preferred. You'll see what I mean below.

Brooke heads back to Georgia tomorrow, and my mom arrives from Utah. What great parents we have (I may have already mentioned that, but you can't give them too much credit!). She'll be here for a week, and I'm looking forward to that.

Two other items of note before I get to the video and photos:

1. We settled on Eliza's final, full name: Elizabeth McKay Fillerup. Elizabeth because it is Brenna's middle name and her grandmother's first name. McKay as a tribute to our ward and to the period of our life we are in. We are part of the McKay Lake ward, and as I have mentioned, our dear friends have truly rallied around, anticipated every possible need and solved every problem before we could even ask (or even realize we needed help in many cases). Eliza's middle name will always remind us of these wonderful people and of where we are in our lives right now where we truly feel like a blessed part of a loving ward family. That is a beautiful feeling that we will always cherish. We'll call her Eliza rather than Elizabeth just because we like it so much. And, we're proud that she'll be in the company of John and Laurel Larsen's daughter. Can't ask for a better name-mate than that.

2. We have been looking forward to Savannah's baptism on March 1 for quite some time. But when Bren went into the hospital and we thought she would be there for multiple weeks Savannah and I had a discussion regarding whether Savannah wanted to go ahead on March 1 even if mom would not be able to be there. Well, Savannah was certainly disappointed, but no way was she going to be baptized without mom present. So, when Bren realized she would be home in plenty of time for the baptism she asked me to talk to Savannah again to see if she would reconsider. This morning I sat down with Savannah and told her mom would be home and that if she wanted she could go ahead and get baptized on the March 1. She seemed OK with the idea, but she wasn't overjoyed about it, which kind of surprised me. So I said to her that if she wanted she could wait for Eliza to come home and then she could be baptized on a Saturday and Eliza could be blessed the next day. You should have seen her face light up. She wants her baby sister to be there for her baptism. No question in her mind. We're hoping that will all happen the first weekend in May. Should be a great weekend at our house!

Now, on to the visual evidence:

Day 3

Wed morning they gave Eliza a pacifier to help keep her mouth closed so the air being blown at her wouldn't escape. She also had her firs experience with lying on her tummy. She took to it quite well.

Is it just me or does that pacifier seem a little large?

Wed evening Brenna and Brooke went down for the nighttime feeding and statistics check. Eliza was just hanging out waiting for them!

Grandma Brooke enjoying her newest granddaughter. Thanks for coming, Grandma!

Yay! Mommy gets to hold little Eliza. This really completed Brenna's day and gave her that feeling of having an emotional link with her daughter. It's been really hard on mom to not have her baby right next to her. I know you mothers out there can understand that very well.

This is my favorite picture from Wed. The only downer is that we weren't able to get any video of Brenna holding Eliza this time around because the camera battery was too low. D'oh! Fortunately, we expect many, many more opportunites to come.

Day 4

I really enjoy taking the video of her. It's just amazing to have these moments captured and to be able to share them with family and friends. Hopefully it helps bridge the distance between us all.

Amazing. She just seems like she's ready to go, but when I get up close to her and see how tiny she is I am just blown away that she's even alive. Babies are miracles. There is no other way to see it. Eliza has helped me understand that in a way that was not clear to me before. Only a few days old, and she is already teaching me. Fortunately, the other kids have already helped me understand how much I can learn from them. My trouble is I'm not usually patient enough to let them teach. With Eliza, though, I am a rapt student.

Nurse Kayla checking the vitals. We have loved the nurses in the NICU. They are caring and attentive and just great. We know Eliza is always in good hands. What a blessing. I've enjoyed seeing the work they do because it gives me a little window into the life of my niece, Rebecca. Way to go, Rebecca! You are part of an amazing profession.

As soon as Brenna gets away from the doctors, with what do you think she is confronted? More doctors, of course! Savannah and Maddie were immediately on hand to tend to her every need (real and imagined). What good helpers! Conspicuous by his absence is Hunter who greeted mom at the door with his customary affection--giving her a big smile with a hug and kiss. Then, however, it was back to the Wii in his continuing quest to collect stars and save Luigi and find Princesses and whatever else it is that he does in Super Mario Galaxy. Mom comes home from the hospital, and all he wants to do is save the galaxy. Boys! What are we gonna do with them?


Paging Dr. Fillerup. Please report to the ER.

When did you say you graduated from med school? I mean, I liked Doogie Howser growing up, but this is a bit ridiculous!

Good times at the Fillerup house.

Day 2

Nothing but good news today. Brenna is able to get up and walk a bit, and she is in good spirits on the whole. The pain isn't fun, but the most frustrating aspect of the current situation is that she is not able to have Eliza with her. Hard to be separated from your brand new baby. But at least she was able to go down to the NICU and spend some time with the little one. Brenna will come home on Thursday, and we are certainly looking forward to that. There is nothing like being together.

Brooke flew in this morning, and we are so grateful to have her here. The kids love having Grandma here, and it's just such a relief to have another adult to talk to and help make decisions. We're so glad for both sets of grandparents. They do an amazing job.

As for Eliza, she is progressing marvelously. They took the oxygen tube off and she is now breathing wholly on her own. They do have a rather large tube taped to her face, though (you'll see pics below), and that is basically blowing air at her that forces her to keep her lungs open. So, they are providing help, but technically she is breathing on her own. They also have a tube down into her stomach that is slowly dripping formula to her. They will soon be using mom's milk there and that will be great. Other than that there really isn't a lot else to report today. They think we'll be able to hold her in a couple of days, and that will be so wonderful. I've said it before, but she is just a marvel. I love gazing at her.

The biggest frustration today was that we twice went down to see her and the NICU was closed because they were doing surgery on another baby. It's difficult because we really want to see our baby, but we definitely understand how important surgery is for these little people. So, what that means is we didn't get to spend as much time with her as we would have liked, but we made the most of the time we did have. We chatted with her and I softly sang several hymns and primary songs. That was an opportunity I will always cherish. I think tomorrow I will bring a story and start reading to her. Wonderful experiences. Well, without further ado here are some new pics from today:

Mom and baby. I'm fond of this pic because I think it really captures what Brenna is all about. Just a lovely moment.

More evidence of how tiny she is. Note the big blue tube at her face. That is what is blowing the air that forces her to keep her lungs open. The black eye cover is just what it looks like--giving her relief from light. She is under the bright lights for jaundice treatment, and the doctors say she is doing well. For those who know about these things her APGAR scores were 7 after 1 minute and 9 after 5 minutes.

What an experience--just holding her tiny hand.

Like I said, I love just gazing at her.

My turn to hold her tiny hand.

I love this--a little defiant fist thrown out to show she will succeed. The NICU nurses have refer to her as "feisty" and "a fighter." They also call her "the giant" because she is bigger than most of the pre-30 week premies they see. All of those names sound great to me.

OK, tomorrow is a new day. One day closer to Bren coming home, and one day closer to Eliza coming home, too, for that matter.