Week 3

All good news this week! Eliza is getting extra calories with her feedings and she's been handling it very well. This evening she weighed in at 3 lb 3 oz. She's a regular Paul Bunyan! Here's hoping she keeps it up. She's still on very low oxygen flow and she wasn't under the lights at all this week. So she's doing very well. Every time we go in to see her she is just snuggled up like a papoose, and we feel bad about waking her up to take her temperature and change her diaper. But it's such a pleasure to see her wide open eyes and watch her stretch and wiggle around.


Tonight she had pulled the little oxygen tubes completely out of her nose and was breathing wholly unaided when I arrived. I don't know how long she had been like that but her oxygen level was exactly where it needed to be and the nurse (who is a very good nurse) was surprised to learn that the tubes weren't even in her nose. She was impressed with Eliza's lungs and we agreed that she is getting closer to the time when the tubes will be removed permanently. Every day we're getting a little nearer to her coming home.


As a side note about the hospital, we've really enjoyed getting to know Eliza's two "roommates" and their parents. Eliza is in a co-ed dorm with Sophia and Preston. They will both probably go home in the next three weeks or so, so they're a bit ahead of Eliza, but it's been fun to share the joys of seeing our children progress with those parents. It's comforting to be able to share experiences and realize that they know exactly what the difficulties are. In fact, both of them have had a far rougher time than we've had. Sophia was born at 26 weeks and weighed only 1 lb 8 oz. while Preston was born in a rural area at 31 weeks, but had no high tech equipment to monitor him and keep his lungs going, etc. Both sets of parents have had some stressful times over the last few months and we are so impressed with how they have handled everything. We're enjoying becoming part of that little community and are glad to have friends we can cheer for as their children do well.


At home Brenna is making great progress. She's been driving for the past few days and will make her first solo trip to the hospital tomorrow. That's a huge jump from where she was last week. She still gets worn out a lot more quickly than she used to, but every day is getting better. She tries to limit her trips up and down stairs, but she has resumed her role as boss, and the children are loving having mommy up and functioning. I'm pretty happy about it, too :-)


My oldest sister was in town for the past week and she did a great job of fitting right in and helping us wherever help was needed. Thanks, Aunt Jeanne, for your love and your willingness to help. We love you for it. And, thanks to the Cushings for letting us borrow their mom. We have been so fortunate to have family members willing to come out and help. What a huge difference that has made. We're so far in people's debt that we'll never be able to make it up, but the comforting thing is that we know people simply do it out of the goodness of their hearts. I was telling Preston's mom tonight that we read so many terrible things in the newspaper and see so many dreadful things on the news about what people do to each other, but my life's experiences have taught me just the opposite. There are so many good people who want to help and take care of others. People from all walks of life--we're all just people and kindness is something everyone can understand.


Anyway, enough verbiage. For this week just a few photos to share. Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and support. We know there are heavenly forces at work here.




Week 3 close up. We really enjoy the time we have with her when her eyes are open and she is looking around.





Here is Eliza's space--basically just her condo. When we come for a visit they bring in a glider (or two) for us to sit in. And that is how we spend our time with her.




Here's the first photo of all three of us. I'm looking forward to the first photo of all six (!) of us. That will be a very fun day.

Week 2

Eliza will be two weeks old tomorrow, and she is still doing very well. The only frustration we have is that she is not putting on weight. In fact, she closes out this week at only 12 1/2 ounces--still down by 1 1/2 ounces from her birth weight. Not drastic, but we'd rather see her gaining. They did put some additional calories into her milk for a couple of days, but that did a number on her stools, so she's back on straight milk now. The nurse said they'll try the extra calories again in a few days and may opt for a bit of a different recipe.

Eliza does enjoy her pacifier. When we put it in her mouth she will suck at it, and it seems the most natural thing in the world. It's just funny to see how big it is in her mouth. Tonight the nurse squeezed a few drops of milk onto the pacifier while it was in her mouth, and after a couple of minutes Eliza started sucking at it for all she was worth. It was really fun to see her reaction and understand that she was enjoying the taste and was having such a positive reaction.

Other than that not much has changed from our previous updates. It appears it will be a bit slow and go from here, but I'm just thrilled to say that no problems have arisen, and she is plugging along. She's doing great with oxygen and reacts well to pretty much everything that comes along. Just pray for her to grow.

A picture and a few videos from this past week:

Generally when we arrive Eliza is sleeping pretty soundly. But after we check her temperature and change her diaper her eyes are usually wide open. This is a good example.

And, a video showing those wide open eyes. She's doing great!

I love watching her go after the pacifier in this one. Not sure how long before they'll let her try a bottle, but her sucking reflex is pretty impressive. Also, her cap is just adorable. That will be one of my favorite keepsakes.

Love that little smile!

Good Times with Billy

Not sure if I'm allowed to post anything non-Eliza related, but I'm going to go ahead with it. However, just so you won't think I'm completely callous, the little one is doing great. They have her under the lights again, but she is growing and consuming lots of milk. I plan to post an update on her Sunday to cover the preceding week.

As for today's post, it's all about yesterday, which was a very good day. Many may not know, but I basically work entirely out of my house these days. That has had some serious benefits with the recent family issues. I've been able to be home for the kids and now to support Brenna as she continues getting better. I love the commute (rolling out of bed), and I find that I am pretty effective. All of my colleagues are scattered across the US (as well as UK and Australia), and none of them are in Colorado, so it really doesn't matter whether I'm in the office or not. At any rate, that lengthy preamble explains why I was able to go to Parent-Teacher conferences yesterday. I have to tell you what a pleasure it is to go to these conferences. I enjoy seeing the kids' classrooms and watching their faces light up as they get to show dad and mom all of the things they've been working on. You can't beat that. Plus, I really enjoy the teachers my children have had--they have been such amazing influences and right on top of everything. They give great feedback as to what we can do to help the kids, and I can tell by their actions that they love what they do and that they love the kids they teach. So, to Mrs Haile, Mrs Beard and Miss Duskis--thank you! You know you are loved at our house.

Anyway, in conjunction with the conferences, the school has a book fair. I'm thrilled that Savannah has inherited my love of reading and that Hunter is showing real skill in that area as well. There are few things I would rather bestow upon them than a love of reading. So I enjoy going to the book fair and picking out a few books for them. They all went to the Children's Museum with our friend, Teri, yesterday so I was alone at the book fair and was able to bring the books home and put them on their beds for a bedtime surprise.

Unfortunately, I wasn't there for bedtime last night, which brings us to the reason for my post title. I have loved Billy Joel since high school but never been to one of his concerts, so a few months ago when Brenna and I saw he was going to play Pepsi Center we bought tickets. Brenna encouraged me to get expensive tix, but I told her, "Look, Billy isn't all that handsome a man and I'm sure I'll be able to hear just fine wherever we sit," so we bought tix in the nosebleeds. Well, as you know Brenna is in no position to be going to a concert so I had to resort to alternative measures. Not a problem as my dear friend Paul is a big Billy fan as well.

Paul picked me up last evening and we headed downtown for some grub and chatting before the concert. Paul and I have been friends for almost 20 years now, and we never lack for things to discuss. I truly cherish the time I'm able to spend with friends in such situations because the opportunities are so few and far between these days. I'm grateful for the reasons that cause the scarcity of these opportunities, but being a husband, father, and contributing member of society does pretty much minimize the quality friendship time! So, when the chances come along I enjoy making the most of them. Conversation ranged from books and movies (No Country For Old Men was the subject of quite a conversation--I having read the book and Paul having seen the movie, so we could compare notes) to sports (shocker) to children to friends to work to politics. Pretty standard fare, but thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks, Paul, for your good insights and the food for thought you provided.

Eventually we headed over to Pepsi Center and got to our seats just a few minutes before the concert began. Billy had some pretty funny moments mocking himself--his age, his looks, his past indiscretions, etc. He was lighthearted and seemed to be enjoying himself. He played several songs I'm not familiar with, but the bulk of the concert was his quality stuff from the 70s and a few from the 90s with a bit of late 80s sprinkled in. The crowd did a respectable job singing along and it was fun. It cracked me up to look around that 20,000 seat stadium and see so many basically middle-aged folks sitting in their seats and crooning along with the piano man. I don't think I've been to a concert since high school, so this was quite a departure from my previous experiences. A few folks were up and dancing, but for the most part we all kicked back and soaked it in. I love Billy because he does such a great job telling stories through his music. He really evokes mental images and emotion through his lyrics. I appreciate that. Scenes From an Italian Restaurant, Piano Man, and The Entertainer were great examples of that last night. A couple of my all time favorites from him in that regard are Leningrad and The Downeaster Alexa. Sadly, he didn't play them last night. But all considered, it was a night well worth the time. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

There was one very disorienting moment during the concert. About halfway through he invited one of his stagehands up to perform. Apparently the stagehand had been passed over by American Idol because he "didn't fit the format." Hmmm. Hard to see why. Billy introduces Chainsaw and this very large man (both muscular and overweight) strides onto the stage with a wifebeater, shorts and combat boots--heavily tatted and looking for all the world like he was meant for nothing else than to be the poster boy for the song he was about to sing. The band bursts into a cacophony of noise, and at first I thought we were in for AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long. Well, not far from the truth. Instead we got AC/DC's Highway to Hell. Interestingly enough, the crowd was really into it. Pretty funny to watch this guy stomp around the stage and scream into the microphone. What that had to do with anything related to Billy Joel is still a mystery to me. As I said, disorienting.

After acting like the concert was over no less than three times Billy closed with Piano Man, the house lights came on and everyone went home happy. When I walked in the house, I went upstairs and gave Savannah a hug and kiss that partially woke her up. She rolled over and gave me a hug, too and then promptly fell back asleep. I checked on Hunter and Maddie and gave them kisses as well. Then I went to my bedroom to find a note from Savannah:

Dad,

Will you try to wake me up, and if you can't just give me a hug and kiss while I'm sleeping ;)

I (heart) U!

Love,

Your daughter Savannah

P.S. I missed you while you were at the concert.


Man, you just can't beat that. Good times with Billy. To borrow from U2--a beautiful day.

Closing Out Week 1

Things seem to be moving more quickly than I can keep up with now. But Eliza is settling into more of a routine so I expect the need for constant updates will decrease. I hope to update the Eliza situation about once a week going forward unless there are major events that warrant more frequent updating.

Three days since the last post and several significant things have happened. Grandma Brooke went home and Grandma Jean arrived. Eliza moved from the first NICU to the graduate NICU where she will remain until she comes home. Brenna and I visited the hospital together and were both able to hold Eliza--dad's first opportunity. Eliza is steadily increasing the amount of food she takes in--up to 17 cc's of milk every three hours as of today. She continues to do well without additional oxygen. She is getting 3 liters of mist and air flow per hour, but that is only to ensure her lungs stay open and her nose doesn't get dry and crack. The oxygen she is breathing is room oxygen that is the same as the rest of us breath. Pretty impressive for one so small. Tomorrow they will reduce her to two liters per hour and if she does well with that they'll reduce her to one liter several days later and eventually to none. She is still in her condo, and will stay there until she reaches four pounds--likely about three weeks from now. Probably shortly after leaving the condo she'll be ready to try bottle feeding. If she is able to do all of those things she will then be ready to come home once she puts on enough weight (not exactly sure if there is a clear definition of "enough weight." I think it varies depending on the child).

Having said all that I had a lovely chat with Eliza's nurse tonight, and she said that parents often have a very difficult time in these situations because they don't realize the process is generally two steps forward and one step back. The baby may be doing great with something one week and struggle mightily with it the next. She said that is the nature of getting a premie ready to go home. They are so little and work so hard to just maintain status quo that any tiny infection or other unwanted influence can really set them back. So, though Lindsay (Eliza's nurse) was enthusiastic about Eliza's progress to date she said it is rare for a premie to sail through the NICU without facing any problems. She wasn't trying to deflate me, but she was trying to prepare me for what may come. I really appreciated her approach and her willingness to be up front. Brenna and I are emotionally preparing ourselves for possible setbacks, but we remain optimistic that Eliza will be the exception and sail through. We'll see how it goes, but so far so good. She continues to exceed expectations!

OK, a few pictures. I apologize in advance for the videos. They are really dark and virtually impossible to see Eliza. However, if you are interested in following the situation closely there is some good info in the commentary. If you're just wanting to see how cute Eliza is you can skip the videos. They're not useful for that.

Day 5

Sampling the digitary cuisine.

Grandma Jean's first look at her granddaughter. This was a great moment to share with my mother.

Day 6

Dad holds Eliza for the first time. Not really much else I can say here. I just loved having her in my arms. Having Brenna there when I was able to hold her made it all the more sweet.

More demonstration of how tiny she is.

Mother and daughter both looking good.

Some useful info in the commentary. Sorry the video is so dark. Can't really make anything out.

Nurse Lindsay showing her off before putting her back in the condo.

Day 7

Sister Vickie Moore made this beautiful blanket. It now sits over the top of Eliza's condo to keep it snuggly and dark. They took the lights off of Eliza Sunday morning. We hope they'll stay off, but they may have to put them back on. We'll see how it goes.

Love the hiccups. This was a fun moment with Eliza.

Days 3 & 4

Things continue to progress well. Lots of pictures below, but some of the highlights are that Eliza has moved out from under the full-time lights (for jaundice treatment) and into her very own condo! She no longer has the big tube blowing air at her. She now only has the small nasal attachments that are providing a bit of warm mist for her lungs. She's getting 4 cc's of milk every three hours and doing very well with that. I'm really not sure what else to say about her--she's just a champ. Given her circumstances, I don't think we could have dreamed of her doing any better.

Brenna came home this evening. They took her staples (16) out this afternoon, and she is very sore (lots of burning on her right side--they tell us it's from damaged nerves due to the surgery), but she is managing well and is glad to be home and have the chaos of Savannah, Hunter and Madison buzzing around her once again. As those of you who are familiar with the C-section process know, she has a bit of a long recovery period ahead of her. It's tough to see how difficult even the simplest of movements are, but it is encouraging to see the day to day progress because it is very real.

The children are thrilled to have mom home and showed it in the way Brenna probably would have least preferred. You'll see what I mean below.

Brooke heads back to Georgia tomorrow, and my mom arrives from Utah. What great parents we have (I may have already mentioned that, but you can't give them too much credit!). She'll be here for a week, and I'm looking forward to that.

Two other items of note before I get to the video and photos:

1. We settled on Eliza's final, full name: Elizabeth McKay Fillerup. Elizabeth because it is Brenna's middle name and her grandmother's first name. McKay as a tribute to our ward and to the period of our life we are in. We are part of the McKay Lake ward, and as I have mentioned, our dear friends have truly rallied around, anticipated every possible need and solved every problem before we could even ask (or even realize we needed help in many cases). Eliza's middle name will always remind us of these wonderful people and of where we are in our lives right now where we truly feel like a blessed part of a loving ward family. That is a beautiful feeling that we will always cherish. We'll call her Eliza rather than Elizabeth just because we like it so much. And, we're proud that she'll be in the company of John and Laurel Larsen's daughter. Can't ask for a better name-mate than that.

2. We have been looking forward to Savannah's baptism on March 1 for quite some time. But when Bren went into the hospital and we thought she would be there for multiple weeks Savannah and I had a discussion regarding whether Savannah wanted to go ahead on March 1 even if mom would not be able to be there. Well, Savannah was certainly disappointed, but no way was she going to be baptized without mom present. So, when Bren realized she would be home in plenty of time for the baptism she asked me to talk to Savannah again to see if she would reconsider. This morning I sat down with Savannah and told her mom would be home and that if she wanted she could go ahead and get baptized on the March 1. She seemed OK with the idea, but she wasn't overjoyed about it, which kind of surprised me. So I said to her that if she wanted she could wait for Eliza to come home and then she could be baptized on a Saturday and Eliza could be blessed the next day. You should have seen her face light up. She wants her baby sister to be there for her baptism. No question in her mind. We're hoping that will all happen the first weekend in May. Should be a great weekend at our house!

Now, on to the visual evidence:

Day 3

Wed morning they gave Eliza a pacifier to help keep her mouth closed so the air being blown at her wouldn't escape. She also had her firs experience with lying on her tummy. She took to it quite well.

Is it just me or does that pacifier seem a little large?

Wed evening Brenna and Brooke went down for the nighttime feeding and statistics check. Eliza was just hanging out waiting for them!

Grandma Brooke enjoying her newest granddaughter. Thanks for coming, Grandma!

Yay! Mommy gets to hold little Eliza. This really completed Brenna's day and gave her that feeling of having an emotional link with her daughter. It's been really hard on mom to not have her baby right next to her. I know you mothers out there can understand that very well.

This is my favorite picture from Wed. The only downer is that we weren't able to get any video of Brenna holding Eliza this time around because the camera battery was too low. D'oh! Fortunately, we expect many, many more opportunites to come.

Day 4

I really enjoy taking the video of her. It's just amazing to have these moments captured and to be able to share them with family and friends. Hopefully it helps bridge the distance between us all.

Amazing. She just seems like she's ready to go, but when I get up close to her and see how tiny she is I am just blown away that she's even alive. Babies are miracles. There is no other way to see it. Eliza has helped me understand that in a way that was not clear to me before. Only a few days old, and she is already teaching me. Fortunately, the other kids have already helped me understand how much I can learn from them. My trouble is I'm not usually patient enough to let them teach. With Eliza, though, I am a rapt student.

Nurse Kayla checking the vitals. We have loved the nurses in the NICU. They are caring and attentive and just great. We know Eliza is always in good hands. What a blessing. I've enjoyed seeing the work they do because it gives me a little window into the life of my niece, Rebecca. Way to go, Rebecca! You are part of an amazing profession.

As soon as Brenna gets away from the doctors, with what do you think she is confronted? More doctors, of course! Savannah and Maddie were immediately on hand to tend to her every need (real and imagined). What good helpers! Conspicuous by his absence is Hunter who greeted mom at the door with his customary affection--giving her a big smile with a hug and kiss. Then, however, it was back to the Wii in his continuing quest to collect stars and save Luigi and find Princesses and whatever else it is that he does in Super Mario Galaxy. Mom comes home from the hospital, and all he wants to do is save the galaxy. Boys! What are we gonna do with them?


Paging Dr. Fillerup. Please report to the ER.

When did you say you graduated from med school? I mean, I liked Doogie Howser growing up, but this is a bit ridiculous!

Good times at the Fillerup house.