Differences or Commonalities?

I am just entering the "war chapters" of Alma in the Book of Mormon.  I started chapter 43 this morning, and I was captivated by the information in the first several verses.  As background, the Zoramites had left the Nephites to join the Lamanites, and the two groups were preparing for war.

Now to quote verses 5 - 7:

And it came to pass that the Lamanites came with their thousands; and they came into the land of Antionum, which is the land of the Zoramites; and a man by the name of Zerahemnah was their leader.

And now, as the Amalekites were of a more wicked and murderous disposition than the Lamanites were, in and of themselves, therefore, Zerahemnah appointed chief captains over the Lamanites, and they were all Amalekites and Zoramites.

Now this he did that he might preserve their hatred towards the Nephites, that he might bring them into subjection to the accomplishment of his designs.

As I thought about these verses I noted that Zerahemnah had made a calculated decision to focus attention on the fringe elements of those he led.  The major portion of his people were assumedly moderate in their stance toward the Nephites, but he had a smaller, what I'm calling fringe element, who were murderously opposed to the Nephites and their way of life.  Consequently, Zerahemnah utilized this fringe element to stir up the people by constantly reminding them of how the Nephites were different and how the Lamanites should hate them.  As a result of the Lamanites being force fed such vitriol, they were persuaded to go to war against the Nephites based on the perception of the Nephites as advocated by the fringe element.  Differences were trumpeted at the expense of any similarities and war ensued.

It seems that such is the case with much of society both in this country and around the world.  The groups can be political, racial or religious, to name a few.  Too often in our society we hear only how and why people people in groups other than the one with which we identify ourselves are different from us.  We hear about disagreements and arguments and how one group is unfair to another.  Soon we begin to believe that people in other groups are very different from us.  We then might ensconce ourselves more firmly within our own subculture and not seek to learn more and look beyond what we have been told by those who are, essentially, fringe elements of society.  We hear from them because commonalities are not interesting--differences are.  What a shame.

I believe there is something larger at work here.  I believe that God has a plan for the people of the earth, and that He loves us and wants us to be happy.  I believe that He considers us all His children and that Christ is His son, who came to make it possible for us to return to our Father.  Consequently, we are all brothers and sisters with one loving Father and a Brother who has done everything for us.   Above all else, we have that in common.

Sadly, there is an opposing force, and he seeks to thwart God's plan by promoting the fringe elements to ensure we don't see our similarities, but only our differences.  In his plan there would be no understanding--only fear and distrust.  How can we love someone we don't understand?  

So, how are we doing in our individual lives?  Republicans?  Democrats?  Whites?  Blacks?  Latinos?  Asians?  Muslims?  Jews?  Christians?  What do we have to say for ourselves?  Can we look past the fringe element promotions to see each other as we are--brothers and sisters?  Admittedly, I have a vast amount of improvement to do here, but I really saw something in those scripture verses I read this morning.  There are opposing forces out there, and they do have different aims for the human race.  Hopefully we can seek to find commonalities with others in our lives so as to enjoy the benefits of being part of God's family, for that is what we are.

Atomic Root Beer

Saturday was my Dad's birthday, so I called him and we chatted for a while. In the course of our conversation he talked about making Atomic Root Beer for a recent Pack Meeting and a Reunion. He gave me the recipe, and I decided to give it a try today.

5 Gallons Water

2 Lb Brown Sugar

3 Lb White Sugar

1 Container Root Beer Extract

5 Lb Dry Ice

Put in about half the water and mix the sugars and extract in. Add remaining water and then the dry ice. Let sit for about 15 minutes.

I halved the above recipe, and we had plenty of beverage for a little get together we had at our house with some friends. The only difficult part was tracking down the dry ice and the root beer extract. Safeway carries dry ice but no RB extract, Wal-Mart carries RB extract, but no dry ice. Weird stuff.

Anyhow, the kids loved the dry ice experiment. Here's a little video and a couple pictures of the excitement. Thanks for the recipe, Dad! And Happy Birthday!

Book Report

Just yesterday I finally managed to finish We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families. Yes, that's the title of my latest read. It's about the genocide in Rwanda during the mid-90s. Why would I want to read 350 pages on such an unpleasant subject? To be honest, I've wondered that myself. The author of the book, Philip Gourevitch, apparently wondered the same thing as to why he would research and write such a book. He starts Part I of the book by quoting from Plato in The Republic:

Leontius, the son of Aglaion, was coming up from the Peiraeus, close to the outer side of the north wall, when he saw some dead bodies lying near the executioner, and he felt a desire to look at them, and at the same time felt disgust at the thought, and tried to turn aside. For some time he fought with himself and put his hand over his eyes, but in the end the desire got the better of him, and opening his eyes wide with his fingers he ran forward to the bodies, saying, "There you are, curse you, have your fill of the lovely spectacle."

Initially, he offers that segment of The Republic without additional commentary, but then several pages in he incorporates the passage by addressing the reader:

Like Leontius, the young Athenian in Plato, I presume that you are reading this because you desire a closer look, and that you, too, are properly disturbed by your curiousity. Perhaps, in examining this extremity with me, you hope for some understanding, some insight, some flicker of self-knowledge--a moral, or a lesson, or a clue about how to behave in this world: some such information. I don't discount the possibility, but when it comes to genocide, you already know right from wrong. The best reason I have come up with for looking closely into Rwanda's stories is that ignoring them makes me even more uncomfortable about existence and my place in it. The horror, as horror, interestes me only insofar as a precise memory of te offense is necessary to understand its legacy.

Even before Don Cheadle's Hotel Rwanda was released (side note: I've not been able to bring myself to watch the movie all the way through--I'm too affected by it) I've had an interest in the Rwandan genocide and how such a thing could occur. What makes us hate? How far away is genocide or ethnic cleansing in other parts of the world? Why do so few seem to care or even be aware that such horrible things are a daily part of life for so many on this planet? Gourevitch hits the nail on the head as to explaining my interest. Ignoring such things makes me vastly more uncomfortable than learning of and mentally engaging myself in the utter incomprehensibility and gruesomeness of such events. Is there a way that my increased awareness might serve to somehow lessen future atrocities? Yes, that probably is a very arrogant, American thing to think. But so what? Why not hope that I can do some good in the world?

One thing I do know is that learning of such things has already helped me deal with my own challenges in a much more patient and grateful fashion. For instance, though the experience with Eliza was neither enjoyable nor something I would recommend, I felt that it was but a drop in the bucket compared to the agony and strife that millions upon millions of people in this world live with every day--with no end in sight. Perhaps that is a bad philosophy--others are much worse off, so just be grateful for what you have. Comparisons are generally not the best method for determining how to react to situations in your own life, but they can be instructive in helping one maintain perspective. And such is where I find myself--I have a bit of a different perspective on life now than I did before I started reading this book. And I am grateful for the perspective that has been gained. Can you give a higher compliment to a book?

I will share just one additional passage from the book that struck me particularly. Those who share my LDS faith will likely recognize immediately why it struck me so deeply. In this passage Gourevitch is recounting a conversation he had with Paul Rusesabagina (the main character in Hotel Rwanda) about Paul's actions during the genocide (where he was singularly instrumental in saving numerous lives through his diplomacy, courage and conviction--all while his own life was in as much danger as those he desired to help).

I wanted to know what had made Paul strong--and he couldn't tell me. "I wasn't really strong," he said. "I wasn't. But maybe I used different means that other people didn't want to use." Only later--"when people were talking about that time"--did it occur to him that he had been exceptional. "During the genocide, I didn't know," he told me. "I thought so many people did as I did, because I know that if they'd wanted they could have done so."

Paul believed in free will. He understood his actions during the genocide in the same way that he understood those of others, as choices.

Agency is a powerful force, and we always have that available to us--regardless of our status or situation. Easy for me to say sitting here, but I hope I won't be found wanting when the time comes for me to demonstrate how I choose to use my agency.

The book is devastating in so many respects, but it is also instructional in providing insights to the enduring power of the human spirit and the ability of one or a few to change the lives of many--for good or for bad. We all have that power and that opportunity. Let's not kid ourselves into thinking we don't, and let us be wise in how we employ it.

Sports Culture

Allow me a moment or two to vent here. Recently DirecTV has teamed with Jimmy Kimmel (at least I think it's Jimmy Kimmel--I'm none too sure of the "man's man" celebrities they use these days) to promote the NFL package. I can't remember exactly what's it's called, but basically Kimmel leads in by talking about some NFL game last year and describing how one of the teams/players did something that any NFL fan would be shame-faced to miss. He makes it sound like history was made in the game such that the lives of 1 billion people in China were drastically impacted by the outcome of the game.

After he finishes with his breathless recap of the game he smugly looks into the camera and says, "And you probably missed it because you only get four games on cable. Heh, cable!" Then going on to extol the virtues of NFL Direct Ticket (or whatever it's called), and how DirecTV can save you from any such potential embarrassment this year. I mean, there is no reason to miss one second of any game. You can watch them all!

Well, that is a relief. Living in this backward country where your average Joe can only see four games--about 16 hours--of the NFL on any given Sunday is just depressing. How can we be expected to go on?

In all seriousness, this is simply a blatant example of egregious American consumerism, sloth and mediocrity. Those who know me recognize that I am a huge sports fan, and I have been known to squander large amounts of time in front of the TV worshipping the idols of the day. But, doesn't this simply take it too far? Do we really need to prove ourselves to Jimmy Kimmel by watching every second of every NFL game--or at least proving our manhood by having that option? How can the 12 - 16 hours already available to us not be enough? It just seems absurd that individuals would be willing to shell out large amounts of money to make every second available when the networks, ESPN, ESPN News and all the rest make it virtually impossible to miss a second of any game as it is.

In short, it just seems we could find something better to do with our time and resources. Our entertainment culture is careening toward disaster, and we are all simply along enjoying the ride. Jimmy Kimmel is the perfect pawn to drive the point home.

Reunion

Fillerup Family Reunion in Park City a couple of weeks ago. Here we are riding the lift to go on the Alpine Slide. Eliza stayed behind at the lodge with Aunt Jeanne. The rest of us had gone alpine sliding here in Denver a few weeks prior, so the kids were primed and ready to go. Maddie went down with me and we flew! Savannah went on her own and did well, and Brenna and Hunter made for a speedy team. What a great time--and, of course, we enjoyed ice cream after getting to the bottom of the hill.

So much fun being with family. Sadly, though, we didn't take a big group photo. I guess we were just too busy having fun--water balloon toss, ultimate frisbee, lots of food, Running Charades, music, Olympic Park, church, basketball, tug o war, etc., etc.

We missed Derek and Sara who are serving missions, and we missed Bry, San, Katie and Elise who were stuck in some place called England. Everyone else was able to make it for at least part of the time. The kids loved being with cousins, and I loved being with my folks, sisters, bros in law, and all my fantastic nieces and nephews. Simply put, a great crowd!

Savannah, Hunter and Maddie then spent five days and four nights at Aunt Jeanne's house. A few bumps in the road with Maddie having a bit of homesickness, but I know they would do it again in a heartbeat. Thanks to Ron, Jeanne, Erin, Matthew and Jordan for putting life on pause to entertain the munchkins.

Brenna and I were amazed at how quiet the house was and how we were able to get some things done. It was nice for a few days. Soon, though, we were ready for their return. When we got them back, it was a great reunion after the reunion!

Best Job Ever

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of this, but the other night Eliza was fussing, and Brenna needed a break for a bit. I took Eliza and put her in the "magic hold," where I have her back/left side against my stomach and the left side of her head resting on my left forearm with my left hand and right arm/hand supporting her body. She really seems to enjoy that. She drools all over my arm, but I really don't mind.

I walked around with her for a bit, and soon enough she was asleep. That definitely has to be the best job ever!

Here is a pic of the little princess in all her current glory (now five months old) followed by one of her with her adoring siblings looking on. She's doing great, and we feel very fortunate!

Hits Close to Home

If to do were as easy as to know what were good to
do, chapels had been churches and poor men's
cottages princes' palaces. It is a good divine that
follows his own instructions: I can easier teach
twenty what were good to be done, than be one of the
twenty to follow mine own teaching.
- William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616)

The Merchant of Venice, Act 1, Scene 2


You ever come across a quote that just hits you right in the heart? This one does so for me. I spend so much of my time learning and gaining knowledge--whether it be purely intellectual, spiritual or whatever. I enjoy gleaning insights from others and recognizing the proper approach to things. I then relish the opportunity to turn around and share knowledge and insights with my children, or anyone with whom I become engaged in philosophical or theoretical discussions. You know, telling the kids about the things they ought to be doing or mentioning to others some incredible insights gained from the scriptures or social commentary du jour.

Then I turn around and remember that though I have compiled so much knowledge regarding how things ought to be done and the proper way to live life, I am far too inconsistent in the application in my own life. I had an email conversation with my sister, Sandra, a few years ago that was a bit along the lines of this subject, and I concluded that the macro aspect of life is flowing along fairly well. I get in trouble with the micro aspects of life. I believe I have an understanding of where I want to go and the framework of how to get there. And, more or less, I am headed in that general direction, but some days are better than others--which is precisely the frustrating piece.

As Shakespeare notes, it's a straightforward process to instruct others on what is good to be done, but the actual doing is not so straightforward. I think in the common vernacular we say someone can talk the talk, but can they walk the walk.

Well, that's it. How are we all doing walking the walk? I certainly must improve. An approach I've been trying recently is to focus on one very specific area for improvement each day. That helps me to not feel overwhelmed with all my foibles at once, but allows me to seek to manage in palatable chunks. I've been very pleased with the results some days, but on days where I blow it, it's all the more devastating! Well, the only course is to keep working at it, eh?

Once again, Shakespeare hits pretty close to home.

Catching Up

Let's see, lots going on over the last several days.

Family

My niece, Rebecca, and her husband, Davis went on a road trip from Provo to Denver last week and stayed with us for a few days while they were here. The kids loved having their oldest cousin in town, and R&D were great with them. In addition, Rebecca is a nurse and knows a lot more than we do about taking care of premies, so it was fun to watch her hold Eliza knowing that Rebecca understood what a journey Eliza had taken to get here. The oldest and youngest grandchildren for my parents. Pretty cool! Come again, soon R&D. We loved having you here!

As an added bonus, with Nelson in town at the Dunfords, we had Tom, Nelson, Curtis, Davis and me all at Wednesday night basketball. Quite the festival! We played hard and had a good time. Davis and Tom can man the point, Nelson and Curtis are supreme at banging in the paint and hauling in the boards, and I just fill in where I can. It was a ball to play with so many family members.

This week Brenna and the kids have gone to Georgia. I took them to the airport Tuesday afternoon, and although Brenna was very nervous about traveling with the four of them, they all did very well. (We did have to have some serious discussions with them beforehand to ensure they wouldn't give Mom any trouble--and they didn't. They know how to rise to the occasion when they need to. Good job guys!) They've been loving Grandma and Grandpa's swimming pool and living the good life with their cousins. It's quiet here, but that brings me to my next topic...

Work

Once again, quarter end close is upon us. I thought I was getting out of the stress of quarter close when I took this new job six months ago. Not so. My job has morphed a bit, and I now have responsibility for reviewing some revenue calculations for multiple deals on a world-wide basis. Very interesting how things can be so different from one area of the world to the next. I delivered the same training to all Regions--US, Latin America, Europe and Asia Pacific, but the quality of submissions has varied drastically from one region to the next. You can really tell which regions believe this aspect of the accounting is important and which don't. I recognize it's a big headache for them, but it's also a key area the auditors look at so we must be thorough and consistent worldwide. It makes for a challenge when I have to send things back to some regions and ask them redo the work.

I know that's boring for most of you to read, but it becomes all-consuming for me for a week to two weeks every three months. Fortunately, I'm able to focus on other things for most of the rest of each quarter.

Church

A couple of things in this category. First, since last Sunday was the fifth Sunday, the Bishop presented a lesson on finances to all the adults. I wish I could report to you on how it went, but instead of attending his class, the Bishop asked me to present the same topic to the youth. In order to understand the magnitude of that request, please understand that we have around 30 active youth, and about 20 of those are young men. Plenty of Deacons and Priests. So, the audience was diverse in their attention span, interest level and ability to comprehend. We spent a very interesting 50 minutes together to say the least. I knew with such a topic that I couldn't reasonably expect to keep their attention on a consistent basis, but I also knew that various aspects of the lesson would be interesting and would stick with some of the youth. So I really made an effort to be patient with all the whispering and side conversations, and it turned out pretty well. Much of what we discussed was new information even to the oldest of the youth. We discussed interest and mortgages very briefly, and it was quite remarkable to see the shock register on some of their faces when I mentioned how much interest they could expect to pay on a 30-year 250K mortgage. Rude awakening. I also rattled them with my old school sayings, such as "he's a loose cannon," and "toot your own horn." It was funny to see the blank stares and realize they had no idea what I meant when I said those things. Ah, the generation gap--it's getting wider for me.

The second item is one I'm quite enthused about. We have had a huge influx of new families in our ward over the past two to three months. (Side bar: most of these families are quite young, and Brenna and I are in the unfamiliar position of starting to feel we are in the middle-aged group in our ward. When we moved in six years ago, we were far and away on the young side of the ward--probably about the youngest family, in fact. Now, we are approaching median age, I would say. Pretty amazing!)

Anyway, the Bishop had a get together at his home on Monday night and invited the new families as well as a few long-term members. While there I was able to chat for a while with Ryan Gunderson, who is the owner of the Riches For Good blog at richesforgood.blogspot.com.

I have briefly mentioned in the past that I would like to get more involved in the world of microcredit and the like. Well, Ryan has a decided interest in that topic, and we're already making plans to get me more involved. Call it an effort to do something larger with my life. At one point, I thought I would get a job that would make a real difference in the world. Well, not to disparage my current job, but let's just say it's not the idealist's dream. So, why not make it a hobby and a passion. I'll keep you updated how things develop, but I really hope to be able to jump in with both feet now that I have someone around who can show me the ropes, so to speak.

I'm looking forward to it.

Whirlwind Weekend

I woke up at 4AM Saturday, gave Brenna a quick kiss, ate a quick bowl of cereal (gotta have my breakfast!), loaded my two small carry-ons into Roscoe and headed for the airport. Uneventful drive--I took I-25 to I-270 to I-70 to Pena Blvd and Pike's Peak parking lot. I listened to the NPR classical music station all the way. Parked at Pike's Peak and hopped on the shuttle bus just as it was about to leave the parking lot. One of life's little pleasures--catching the bus at just the right time!

By 5:10 I was standing in a short security line, listening to my iPod and feeling good about things. I noticed the "Clear" security lanes with the flyclear.com website being advertised. I never saw anyone actually use the Clear lane, but I thought what a time saver it would be if you traveled frequently. Then I thought, if you traveled that frequently you're probably already an elite member of some airline and you're allowed to use the security lane for "important" travelers anyway. So, I'm not sure how many people actually use Clear. Anyone have experience?

At any rate, I rumbled right on through security--even was waived to a completely open x-ray line that other travelers had simply overlooked. You just can't beat that. I headed down the escalator (side note: why are we Americans so useless at escalator etiquette? Stand on the right, walk on the left--Europeans do this flawlessly. But not the States. Oh no, we must stand so that we take up as much of the escalator width as possible ensuring that someone who is in a hurry or simply doesn't like to perpetuate the inactive culture must wait in an exasperated heap until the escalator arrives at its destination. Yes, I spend too much time worrying about these things.) and waited for the train to take me to Terminal C. Jaunty little tune accompanying the arrival and departure of the train. Far better than the tune they used to have.

I got to my gate and found a spot to sit where I could read the morning paper and pass the 20 minutes or so until boarding. Leisurely review of the sports page (with an all-too-brief recap of the unbelievable Turkey/Croatia Euro 2008 quarterfinal game--stunning in every respect) with a bit of dabbling at the Main Section and a half-hearted attempt at the crossword. Plane boarding soon began, and I settled into my seat by the window and promptly learned there were mechanical problems and we were delayed 1/2 hour or so. Not a big deal, but seriously. This was a 6:10 AM flight. It's not like the plane had just arrived from somewhere else and been jostled for its efforts. No, this plane had been sitting overnight--shouldn't they have figured out the mechanical problem at that point? Again, an extremely minor inconvenience, but I just don't understand how it works.

Flight was completely uneventful--I slept right through it, waking up with only a slight kink in my neck. Not bad for a 70 or so minute snooze. Arrived in SLC and headed for the exit all the while hopefully scanning the faces for someone I might recognize. Am I the only one who does that? I mean, I've just arrived back "home," and I know plenty of Utahns, so I'm bound to run into an old friend or acquaintance sometime in the SLC airport, right? Well, nothing of the kind this time around--just out to passenger pick up after calling mom on the cell. Mom and Dad were there in the F250 in short order and off we went. I-215 to Redwood Road, then up Winchester to 7th West and home. Wow. The place gets more amazing every time I see it--the yard had been inundated with larkspur, and it was beautiful. So much shade from the trees, with quail and hummingbirds providing some animal life to the nature scene. Well done, mom and dad, for keeping your little oasis going.

Ron and Jeanne were there though Erin, Matthew and Jordan had opted to stay in Provo with Rebecca and Davis. I had to work very hard to not be offended! We all enjoyed some lovely banter over a breakfast of German Pancakes, for which mom had misplaced her recipe. When was the last time my mom did that? I ran through the ingredients with her, and Jeanne told her what temp to cook it at and we were good to go. Mom whipped it up and we were eating like kings with light syrup only 20 minutes later.

Jeanne then had to make a run to the store to find some black nylons and she went out with attitude (wearing a t-shirt and skirt and firmly declaring that she didn't care if it looked silly). Good for her, I say!

Ron and I had a thoroughly enjoyable chat about Euro 2008--great, great soccer for those who haven't been following and soon enough it was time for Ron & Jeanne to head down to Highland/Alpine to help finish setting up for the reception. I retired to the basement to gather my thoughts and try to write something meaningful in a card for Heidi and Isaac. What a fine pair they are, and how happy I am for them and their marriage.

As a guy I have taken the liberty of not buying wedding gifts. Basically, I'm just too lazy, but I also enjoy simply writing a check knowing that the couple will be able to do whatever they choose with the money. So, skewer me for it if you like, but I just show up to weddings with a card and a check and it's worked well for me. I am grateful for those people, though, who do go to the extra effort of making the trip to the store and purchasing something tangible. It would be tough as newlyweds to have to go out and buy everything you needed--could be fun, but that would be a lot of shopping!

Well, I penned a note in the card, sealed it up and put it with my suit. I handed my iPod over to Dad so he could watch a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon, and that made me smile. What cool technology we have, and here I am years later enjoying Foghorn Leghorn and thinking of my dad when I do. I had to let him see it on the iPod! I then sat in the red room and leafed through a photo album my mom has kept of my life. Quite remarkable to look back on pictures of my son at one year and see how much my niece Lauren's son, Barrett, looks like him. Barrett has bit more heft going for him (all of our children have been exceedingly lean), but their facial features have remarkable similarities. Loved seeing my grade school pictures and looking at pictures of some of the classes I was in--Mr. Gray, fifth grade with Jeremy Taeoalii, Scott Burbidge, Steve Rasband, Dane Reid and others--including the heartthrob Heidi Jensen, though none of the boys wanted to admit it. I also saw a picture of a simply incredible basketball team--maybe third grade or so--Dave Hooper, Jeremy Taeoalii, Chad Christensen, me, Christian Matsumori, Scott Hamblin and Tyler Bloxham--coached by Bob Hooper and Mike Christensen. Cool! What good times we had.

Anyhow, what a flood of memories. Thanks, mom, for keeping all of that stuff together for me. Aren't good parents the greatest blessing in the world?

I soon had to get up and don my suit. We hopped in mom and dad's car and headed to Linda's to pick her up. Lovely strawberries in the Townes front yard. I wish ours were doing so well, but the birds seem to be getting at ours--similar problem voiced by my dad.

Linda and I settled into the backseat and carried on a lovely conversation the entire trip down to the Mt Timpanogos temple. I don't have a clue what all the topics of conversation were, but I do recall there was a lot of laughter, cheer and good times. I also specifically recall a reference to Cumet de Fois (Kewmit de Fwog) that threw Linda for a loop. Not sure why it was so funny to us, but that is the nature of a brother/sister relationship. Also, the point that I have not lived in Utah for almost 10 years now was pointedly driven home by my shock at the number of chapels seen during the section of the drive from I-15 to the temple. Seriously, at one point I thought there were more chapels than houses. The Mormon contingent (I threw that word in here just for Paul Jensen if he's reading!) of the population in that area is something to behold. Whew!

At length we arrived at the temple and headed for the sealing room. So good to see Kelsey, Davis, Rebecca, and other family members. Heidi and Isaac arrived in the sealing room several minutes after the rest of us, and they looked fantastic. What a beautiful bride was my niece. I am so proud of her for all that she is and will be. I'm certain this couple is headed for great things. I won't go into much detail about the ceremony, but suffice to say that the sealer, who was also the temple president, did a simply beautiful job of bringing in the spirit and ensuring we all understood the beauty and importance of marriage. Tears came to my eyes as I contemplated my own family and pondered how my life and priorities have changed in the 11 years Brenna and I have been married. Such a wonderful thing to be reminded of the reality and grandeur of the eternal family. Thanks to Heidi and Isaac for the invite and the opportunity to be involved in their wedding and to be reminded of my own at the same time. I love going to temple weddings--they are so beautifully simple.

Lots of pictures, lots of heat and plenty more laughs as we were joined outside the temple by Erin, Matthew and Jordan. We wish Sara and Derek had been able to be there as well, but we're glad they are where they are--after all, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God and nothing can take precedence over sharing the gospel when the time comes.

Another brief anecdote from childhood upon which Linda and I reminisced a bit. When Beth and Linda were still home and I was a pre-teen they enjoyed calling me Gomer. I guess it was kind of the insult du jour in high school those days (or maybe just for the two of them). Anyhow, one day they were folding laundry and taking the stacks to the appropriate rooms and Beth pointed to my stack of laundry and asked Linda, "Is this Gomer's pile?" They both burst out laughing hysterically, and though used to being called Gomer, the added amusement gained from the pile appendage was a mystery to me. After wiping tears of laughter from their eyes they were actually kind enough to inform me of the origins of Gomer and his last name being Pyle. Beth had made a funny without meaning to, and it tickled them to no end. So, there you have it--a brief glimpse into the arduous life I lived as the younger brother of five sisters! ;-)

Well, on to the wedding dinner and reception. They were both held at Isaac's grandfather's house in Highland (or was it Alpine--I'm not straight on that). The property was great--a creek running through the back, plenty of green lawn, trees and flowers. There was also a well situated basketball hoop, but I maintained a slight sense of decorum and managed to control the urge to find a ball. Nelson, Carmen, Jordan, Trent, Ed, Riley and Lennon were soon in the fold along with the previously mentioned family members. Feasting, speechifying, hysterical laughing over a scene from the animated "Babar the Elephant" movie and many other experiences too numerous to mention. I soaked it all in and enjoyed every moment. Davis and Rebecca even made plans to come to Denver this week for a little vacation. Whoopee! More family whose company we can enjoy.

Well, we finally had to make an end and I headed home in the Townes' van with Trent also included. Trent is now a hi-up specialist. This means that he washes windows on tall buildings. We all liked the idea of having a title like hi-up specialist and we eagerly await reports from Trent to know how working with such a lofty title plays out in actuality.

I don't really recall what time they dropped me off at mom and dad's, but it wasn't too late. Mom asked if I needed any food, to which I responded in the negative. Heidi and Isaac had provided a sumptuous feast that was still keeping me going. I chatted with mom and dad for a bit, but they were soon ready for bed. I stayed up just a bit longer to leaf through the albums some more, and then I retired to the blue room--my room growing up--for a night's rest. I no longer sleep with the door closed completely because I am no longer used to sleeping in the pitch dark. In high school my friends and I called my room the dungeon because there are no windows and when the light is turned off and the door is closed you can't see your own hand in front of your face. Well, I'm no longer conditioned for that so the door was left open for "visionary" purposes. I would have perished at such a thought when I was in high school.

My dad's footsteps on the stairs woke me at 6 the next morning just as planned. A quick breakfast and then back to the airport for the return flight home. The return flight had the added bonus of Nelson and Carmen being aboard as well. We hung out at the gate, I slept on the flight and then we took the bus back to Pike's Peak lot where we found Roscoe ready and waiting. The old boy got us home in short order where I was reunited with those I love most! A quick change into my suit (I wore shorts and a short-sleeve shirt on the plane) and then off to church.

Yes, a whirlwind weekend that was enjoyable in every sense of the word. Thank you, dear family, for the love we share. Thank you, Heidi and Isaac, for getting married and continuing to set an example that my children can look up to. It's a good life!

Light

I get to sit in on the Teachers' Quorum lessons at church. We have 10 or so Teachers in our ward, and they're a pretty good gang. Often, they will take the conversation and run with it, and it can be a chore to bring them back around to the topic of the lesson, but yesterday the instructor, Brother Call, captured their attention pretty well. He did so by being excited about the topic and telling them that the lesson was about a fascinating concept and that really engaged his mind and would be very interesting to the boys. His approach made it clear that he loved the subject he was about to present.

I remember when I was 17 or so and sitting in Priests' Quorum. Bishop Graves would open the Book of Mormon and be so enthusiastic about the stories it contained that I just couldn't help but get excited about the book myself. There is definitely something to be said for the way in which a lesson is approached. When the instructor loves and has personally invested in the subject the students are more likely to take it seriously and listen.

With those thoughts as a backdrop, Bro Call delved into the lesson and taught from the scriptures. Although the Teachers did have their off-topic moments, for the most part they were fully invested in the lesson--eager to look up scriptures and asking and answering intelligent questions. It was one of those good days where gospel knowledge expanded and testimonies grew.

The topic of the lesson was light. Many avenues were explored, but the predominant aspect on which I focused was light being of God and it is truth. The Doctrine & Covenants was utilized extensively--particularly sections 76 and 88. As the discussion carried on, my mind turned to the scripture about the light of the body being the eye. I looked it up subsequently and it can be found in both Matthew 6 and 3 Nephi 13. It clicked in my mind that a person's countenance is directly related to the light that is in their eyes. I recall so often sitting on the stand with Bishop Newman, and he would point out that someone's countenance seemed down or off from where it usually was. He would subsequently talk to them and learn of something amiss or that they needed help in a particular area. I loved being able to see how the Spirit can work in people's lives--either through someone else's help or through the person helping him/herself. And so often help from others can come because it shows in our countenances.

So, I loved putting those experiences together with the scriptures we discussed yesterday and recognizing that the light in our eyes is directly related to how much of God we have in our life and people can tell that by our countenance. The Spirit is a powerful teacher and a powerful guide. This brief post does no justice to the lesson or to the depth of the topic, but it was a small takeaway that was just an "aha" moment for me, and I appreciate those!

Making Amends

Well, I have to make things right. The other day Brenna looked at my blog and wondered why her site (really the site about our family) wasn't listed in the "Sites I Enjoy" section. I said, "As soon as you start regularly posting to it so there is something to see then I will add the link." Brenna took that as a personal challenge, and she has been a very diligent blogger for the past several days. So, I can now wholeheartedly recommend thefillerupfamily.blogspot.com as a blog about our family!

I expect I will once again become more selfish with my blog since Brenna is covering the family aspect, but we'll have to see how it goes. It's fun to get the different perspectives from Brenna's and Savannah's blogs. Thoroughly enjoyable!

A Perfect Day in England

NOTE: Conveniently, what I'm writing about took place a year ago today (May 23), but Brenna and I journaled it, and I have long wanted to get it online so we could have the pics and the narrative together. This was part of our trip to Europe for our 10th anniversary. We stayed in Esher, England with my sister and her family. Days like this just don't come along very often. As recorded in our journal:

23 May, 2007 (Wednesday)

Today was a perfect day. The sun was shining all day, and we did amazing things.

First, we slept in until about 8:30 or so. Then we ate cereal for breakfast and hung out trying to decide what to do. Kelsey and Stephanie [my niece and her friend--both on a break from college] were coming with us today, and we all agreed we wanted to go to Stonehenge, but other than that we weren't really sure. Some wanted to go to Bath, some wanted to go to Salisbury, while I wanted to drive into the west country. Unfortunately, we realized we probably wouldn't have enough time to do those things because of the additional driving from Stonehenge. So we decided to simply play it by ear once we got to Stonehenge.

(Stephanie, Kelsey and Jesse showing off our ride)

We left the McGregors around 11:00 and arrived at Stonehenge around noon. It's an incredible sight to be driving along the road and come over a rise and see these stones in the distance.

(Stonehenge from a distance)

They don't look massive at first glance, but as you get nearer you see how large they truly are. We parked and got into the sight using Bryon's English Heritage membership card. We also got audio guides, which provided a very useful and informative accompaniment to the visit. The largest stone weighs 45 tons, and there is no consensus on how they were placed in their locations. However, it is believed that the henge was begun around 3500 BC with the large stones put in place some time between 3000 and 2500 BC. Pretty remarkable.

(Stonehenge up close. I know it's over used, but this really was awe-inspiring!)

There is something amazing about standing in proximity to those stones and absorbing the magnitude of the effort to place them where they are and for the intelligence and knowledge behind their placement. There was clearly knowledge of astronomy and the workings of earth's energy fields.

We all started chatting with the English Heritage employees who were on site, and we learned so much. They talked about the history of the site and the conservation of the stones. They showed us carvings of a dagger and an axe in the stones as well as where birds were nesting. They showed us where energy fields crossed (by using copper rods),
and we could just tell how much they loved their jobs and loved the history of the site.

(Kelsey & Brenna checking out the energy fields)

The back of the Stonehenge pamphlet mentioned a Wardour Castle that is within 20 miles of Stonehenge. We asked one of the guides about that, and she wrote down directions on how to get there for us. She was so helpful. It was great!

So we left Stonehenge and headed on a drive through the English countryside.

(Brenna enjoying some of that countryside)

(Jesse joining Brenna to enjoy the countryside)

The directions she had provided were impeccable. They led us directly to the castle, but not before we drove through the most sumptuous countryside. We saw sheep, cows, lakes, rivers, rolling hills, flowering trees, horses, thatched roof cottages, small towns, one lane roads, arches over the road and so many beautiful scenes. I absolutely loved the drive--it was remarkable!

(This arch was just a few miles before Tisbury on our way to Wardour. We turned onto this little road and saw the arch and accompanying wall in front of us and got the feeling we were about to enter some private gardens. The views on the other side and the tranquility of the tranquility of the scene were unforgettable.)

Wardour Castle itself was also an amazing site. It is a castle in ruins, but we were able to walk around inside, climb the steps to the upper tower and get a feel for what the castle was like. The audio guide was extremely helpful. Interestingly, there was a wedding at the castle while we were there. I asked the guides what you had to do to have a wedding there, and the answer was simply that you had to "pay loads of money!" Too funny! It was fantastic visiting the castle, and we took many, many photos.

(Brenna improving the Wardour scenery)

(Picnic @ Wardour--Jesse, Stephanie, Kelsey)

(Jesse in Wardour's main room/dining hall)

(Wardour's missing roof--with a beautiful sky)

We then got back in the car to head home. We drove through the town of Tisbury and stopped on High Street to get Magnum Ice Cream bars. Kelsey and Stephanie hadn't had them before, and they were well impressed.

(Jesse & Brenna enjoying Magnum bars)

We also stopped at the local church and wandered among the gravestones and admired the beauty of the building. Most of the gravestones were from the 1800s. The town was simply charming and gave a beautiful feeling to our day.

(The town of Tisbury in sepia)

(More sepia - Tisbury's church)

As we drove out of town we saw some men throwing a ball in a field. We slowed down to look and realized they were practicing cricket. Some were bowling the ball while others were batting. One of them turned and saw us slowing down so he motioned us to come play . . . and we did! I pulled in and told them we were Americans and didn't understand the game. They were only too happy to explain some of the fundamentals, and they invited me out onto the pitch to practice with them. It was so fun! I got to bowl a few times and catch the ball and get a few of the batters "out."

(Jesse practicing his bowling skills)

I thoroughly enjoyed being out there with them and asking questions about the sport, which they readily answered. There are 11 people a side with one bowler, one "catcher" (I can't remember the proper name) and nine in the field. The batting team sends two batters up at a time. When one gets out he is done for the innings and a teammate joins the other batter. You can get out by hitting a ball that is caught, by not making it to the far wicket on a live ball before the fielding team hits your wicket with the ball or by allowing the bowler to hit the wickets you are protecting. Pretty cool! Once ten of the batting team's players get out the innings is over.

(Jesse on the cricket pitch!)

After about 1/2 hour I thanked them, and we continued our journey. 1 1/2 hours later we were back at the Macs. What a wonderful day! I loved spending it with Brenna and enjoying her company. Our marriage is a blessing.

No More Oxygen

Quick update on Eliza is that we took her off the oxygen on Thursday. We put it back on her at night, and that has been going very well. She has her next Dr appointment tomorrow, and hopefully at that point we will be able to remove the oxygen entirely! She's been doing very well--the reflux problems seem to be decreasing, and she doesn't have problems nearly as frequently with overall breathing consistency. She's getting stronger!

Last night we had her on her tummy, and she was lifting her head up and wiggling around so that her body was moving to new places on her blanket. The kids got excited thinking she would be crawling soon, so we had to temper that enthusiasm, but it is so encouraging to see her taking these strides! Had everything gone according to schedule, she would be about two weeks old right now. Instead, she celebrated her three month mark on Sunday!

A Few Musings

Sitting here watching the Lakers beat up on the Jazz so I thought I'd record a few thoughts:

- I haven't played basketball or soccer for a couple of weeks now. I've either sprained or aggravated a previous sprain on my left ankle three times in the last two months or so--twice playing hoops and once playing soccer. It's really annoying, but I guess it's just another sign that I'm getting older. I never used to have problems with my ankles, but now it seems like it's just a routine occurrence--go play ball and hurt the ankle. So, I decided to take a few weeks off to give the ankle time to heal completely. It's not there yet, but it is feeling far better than it did the last two times I went back to play after injuring it. I'm hoping that with another week it will feel completely normal. We shall see. It takes some of the fun out of the game when in the back of your head you're always concerned about little injuries.

- I have really enjoyed the NBA playoffs this year. My favorite part has been watching Chris Paul of the Hornets. I hadn't really seen him play before this, and I am thoroughly impressed with how complete his game is. And, he comes with the added bonus of playing with a playground abandon. I have loved watching him clown the Spurs on his drives to the hoop. It's easy to see how playing with a guy like that would just be a blast!

- Sobering happenings in Myanmar and China. Thinking of the tsunami a few years ago and Katrina closer to home as well as wars and everything else makes me feel incredibly insulated and spoiled here at home. I mean, look at my two previous items--moaning about minor ankle injuries and commenting on a frivolous game. I guess that's the luxury we have, but it doesn't make the events in other parts of the world any less real for those who are impacted by them. On that note, a shout out to Brenna's cousin, Josh Brazier, and his kaiizen.org efforts. Amazing and inspirational guy. Also a shout out to BYU's Center for Economic Self Reliance (http://marriottschool.byu.edu/selfreliance/). I have to get more involved in that.

- This weekend our stake is doing Play in a Day for the youth. Brenna and I took turns spending time at the church tonight helping out with getting the youth organized. We had more than 30 youth there--amazing! I feel very fortunate to be able to continue to work with the youth. I can't think of anything I would rather do in the church. I spent time with the YM who are working on the set, and it's just fun to interact with them and be reminded of the things that are important to teenagers. What a great time of life! Brenna loved being able to spend time with them as well. It's a breath of fresh air to parents with grade school age children!

- Tomorrow is our 11th anniversary. We're so romantic that we will spend it helping with the Play in a Day and watching the performances in the evening. We figure we did it right last year with our trip to England and Belgium, so a low key anniversary this year is acceptable.

I guess that's enough for now. Nice just to sit down and let my thoughts flow out of my head and onto the screen.

Big Weekend

This is one of those weekends we will always remember at our house. On Saturday Savannah was baptized and Eliza was blessed. What a great day! Little Eliza has come so far so fast that it all is just a bit incredible to think that we're doing regular baby things with her now. And Savannah was so pleased to be able to share her amazing day with her little sister.

The three girls looking good!

This picture of Eliza reminds me a lot of Madison when she was getting blessed. It's fun to be able to look back and have those memories. After having seen Savannah and Madison develop their personalities I am very eager to see what Eliza will be like. My guess is she will have a fighting spirit but be very insightful as to others emotions and needs. Time will tell. I just love being a dad and seeing these wonderful people become who they are.

The oldest and the youngest. It's very enjoyable to see how much the older children love holding Eliza and how cautious they are with her. She does lend a certain air of calm at times!

The whole gang! What a beautiful day, and what fun we had! Thanks to our family who traveled to be with us, and thanks to our wonderful friends who participated. I really felt the strength of the great men with whom I stood in those two circles. I can't think of another feeling to compare it with, but I won't forget it.

How to combat unhappy feelings

Madison has really charmed us with this song she learned in Cherub Choir. She goes once a week to a large Christian church in the area with loads of other children her age and they have a great time singing songs about Jesus, playing games and the like. One day she came home singing this song, and she now frequently reminds us to apply its message (generally as a result of something she has done, and often forgetting to apply its message herself). Anyway, it's a great song, and this was the best version we could get from her with the camera rolling.

If somebody makes me mad,
Or somebody makes me sad,
I stop and pray and Jesus makes me glad!

FHE

This video was taken a couple of weeks before Eliza came home, and I've just remembered to post it. There is actually another video about five minutes long that started at the beginning of the lesson. It was hilarious, but it's too big to post here, and I'm too lazy to figure out how to parse it. I wish it were easier to share though, because it is a microcosm for all FHE lessons. Very good times! So, if you know what FHE stands for and you've battled through it with small children, watch, enjoy and take heart. They don't just ignore their parents, they also ignore each other!

Eliza at Home

OK, I'm finally getting around to putting up some pics of Eliza in her new habitat. Give the old guy a break--it's tough being a parent to a newborn. Brenna and I have are experiencing the strange rollercoaster emotions of euphoria over having our baby home and exhaustion because our baby is home. Overall she's doing great, but we're remembering that newborns don't sleep through the night. And this particular newborn has reflux and routinely spits up with the added bonus that it often gets stuck in her throat making it very difficult for her to breathe. As you might expect Brenna has had some exceedingly stressful moments watching our little girl turn very red as she struggles to get oxygen into her system. No wonder she was having bradies in the hospital! So, we're finding it a challenge, but a challenge we embrace. She is absolutely lovely and we love holding her and watching her. So, that's the big update. Let me now get to the pictures:

Here we are leaving the hospital. Woohoo! We spent a couple of hours there making sure everything was in order, and then the nurse walked us out the door and down to our van (she had to make sure we knew how to buckle in her car seat)!



The big moment! I had gone back to church while Bren and Eliza stayed at home. When I brought the kids back Eliza was snoozing in her bassinett. So we took them up to our room and here are their expressions!

Such well-behaved children--sitting so peacefully while mommy feeds Eliza. You can guess how long that lasted!

The star of the show posing for all of her adoring fans.

Big sister looking the part.

All Together

Eliza was released from the hospital today! Brenna and I went down to the hospital about 10:00 and returned home at 12:30 or so. Eliza left the hospital weighing 5 lb 12 oz, which is exactly twice as much as she weighed when she was born eight weeks ago. Something about that little factoid that really sits well with the accountant in me. The nurse walked with us down to the van and checked the car seat to make sure all was in order and then we were off. Eliza was a great traveler, and we made it home with no complaints.

The children were at church, so I went over for the 3rd hour and was congratulated by quite a few of our gracious ward members. Often it seems they are as excited about Eliza coming home as we are. At length I collected the kids and we headed home. They could barely contain their enthusiasm. We walked in through the garage and had to go up the stairs where Brenna had Eliza sleeping in our room. Brenna had the video camera out and got footage of the kids heading up the stairs with smiles on their faces. I went into the room before them so I could watch their expressions as they saw her. She was sound asleep in her bassinet. When the children saw her they all got somewhat sheepish and shy smiles on their faces that soon turned into wide, wide grins.

We spent the rest of the day monitoring the kids and trying to ensure they didn't love Eliza too much. On the whole they did great. It's just hard to speak softly. For Eliza it must be like us going to a rock concert. Her tolerance for noise and rambunctiousness will definitely have to increase. But she took it all in stride and is doing great.

Hunter and Madison enjoy Eliza's presence, but Savannah is particularly taken with her. She just wanted to stay in our room and be near Eliza the whole day. After a while we were able to distract Hunter and Madison so Savannah could have a turn holding Eliza. We got her all set up on the bed, and she probably held Eliza for 45 minutes or so--both of them as content as could be. I can tell that Savannah is going to be a second mother for Eliza--and I mean that in the best way possible. She takes the responsibility of being the big sister very seriously, and I believe that will only be more true with such a little one now in our home.

The only downers at all with the whole situation are that Eliza still has oxygen, albeit a tiny amount. So she still has the tubes in her nose and a little oxygen tank that we can carry around in a shoulder bag. We hope that she won't need the oxygen too much longer, but we just don't know. It is nice that it is so portable, though. Also, apparently she has reflux, which means a lot of spitting up. Hunter was similar, and he soldiered through it all like a champ, so we'll just have to see how Eliza does. As a parent it's just painful to watch them go through the seemingly continual spit up routine. Also, because of the reflux she makes a lot of grunting and groaning noises. She rarely cries, but she is plenty noisy. Poor girl. When she finally gets into a deep sleep though, she is so peaceful and angelic.

We love having her home and are bracing ourselves for the real parenting work that has now begun. What a blessing!

As a postscript, we took lots of photos and video today, but we had to send Bren's laptop away to be fixed this week, and my desktop is such a dinosaur that it doesn't have the proper interfaces to download the photos or video. So, my apologies, but I can't give you any visual proof. You'll just have to trust me that she's home, and as soon as Bren's laptop returns we'll get on the stick!

My Fair Lady

Brenna and I bought tickets to My Fair Lady and gave them to Savannah as a birthday present back in February. Savannah has loved musicals since the time she could talk. We have vivid and fond memories of her dancing in front of TV during the "Goin' Courtin'" scene in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. We took her to see Dr. Dolittle a few years ago, and she has also been to high school productions of West Side Story, Seven Brides... and Bye Bye Birdie. She was bitterly disappointed when we didn't take her to see Wicked three years ago. But she loves them all. During our recent trip to Utah she was listening to her MP3 player and piped up from the back seat of the van, "Dad, we are going to watch The Music Man when we get home." It's a pleasure to have her love musicals so much. I remember loving sitting down with my mom to watch musicals when I was growing up. So much fun. Now I get to see the wonder of them again through my daughter's eyes.

At any rate, the day for My Fair Lady was yesterday. We headed downtown to the Denver Performing Arts Center, had a bit of an adventure with traffic and parking, but settled into some wonderful seats and were enthralled from the moment the curtain was raised. This is the touring version of the UK production that was introduced two years ago for the 50th anniversary of the original. Lisa O'Hare, who played Eliza, was amazing. The man who played Professor Higgins was good, but the guy who was Alfred P. Dolittle absolutely stole the show. The music, choreography, dialogue and story were all incredible--entertaining, thought-provoking, engaging and memorable. Very worthwhile, and Savannah's smile through the whole thing is memory enough for me.

I look forward to many more such experiences in the years to come with my children.

On Hold

We're up to three straight nights with a brady. She has been pulling out of them on her own, but it appears that they stem from her having a bit of reflux after eating. So, she spits up and it changes her equilibrium enough that the heart rate drops. Nothing long-term serious, but serious enough that she won't be coming home for a bit. I've mentioned before that she has to go five consecutive days without a brady, so we're looking at late this week at best.

As you might expect it is a bit difficult to come to terms with. We've been on a bit of a rollercoaster over the last week-and-a-half or so. Once she took the bottle she started doing so well, that we basically thought it was a foregone conclusion she'd be home with us this weekend. Since that didn't happen we're a little unsettled as to how to deal with the situation. The emotions can only take so much, so now we're really trying to just stay on an even keel and not get too hopeful with the good news, but also not get too down with any bad news. No guarantees we'll be successful with that approach, but at least we're trying!

Sadly, we've become terrible at taking pictures, but I will say that I went down to the hospital this morning and fed her a bottle for the first time. Because I had been sick and then work has been busy this past week I hadn't actually held her for about two weeks. I was thrilled to really experience how much she's grown and to see how full her cheeks are and how her legs aren't little chicken legs anymore. She's getting so close to seeming just like a regular-size baby now. She's 5 lb 4 oz, and we know that a lot of full-term babies aren't much bigger than that. It's very encouraging, and she looks great! She's also very noisy. A lot of grunting and wiggling and complaining when she doesn't get her food in a timely fashion. She doesn't cry, she just makes noise. It's very sweet. I loved spending time with her today.

Delays

Little Eliza had a brady last night, so we're on hold again. Though disappointed, we are very comfortable waiting for her until she is ready. Once she leaves the hospital we won't have the ability to know whether she's having a brady or not. And the idea of having her here and something going wrong is a frightening thought. We would be heartsick for the rest of our lives if there were a problem at home that could have been caught and remedied had she been in the hospital. So, we continue to wait...a bit impatiently, but grateful for the technology that has done so much for our daughter.

One Day More

We just got word from the doctor that she won't be ready tomorrow, but she will be ready Saturday. We will pick her up in the morning. She'll come home with an oxygen tank since she is still not quite ready for room air, but she'd doing great and we're very excited!

Less than a week?

Quick update to last night's Eliza post. The doc just called and spoke to Brenna. They've taken Eliza off the caffeine for brain stimulation. They will now watch her for the next five days and if she has no bradies, she will come home on Friday. Wow! We never anticipated it could be so soon. Very, very exciting, but also a little nerve wracking. Watch this space for additional updates.

Fillerups descend on SLC

Over the last four days Brenna had her first extended stretch of silence since Savannah was born. On Wednesday Savannah, Hunter, Madison and I piled into the van and headed on a road trip to SLC. My niece, Kelsey, got married on Friday, and we were headed over to be part of the festivities. Brenna wanted to go with us of course, but the draw of staying near Eliza and being able to spend a lot of time with her made Brenna's choice to stay home fairly easy. So, Bren spent four or five hours a day at the hospital and loved the opportunity to really feel like a mom to Eliza. On the other hand, the silence at home was a bit unsettling. All in all though, I think she wouldn't mind being unsettled in that manner once a year or so!


As for the rest of us, we partied and lived off the fat of the land (that is, off the generosity and kindness of my family). We stopped the first night in Vernal with my oldest sister and her family. Always a good time in Vernal--I was able to go to soccer practice with my nephew and then hoop it up with my niece and her gang later that night (a fierce rebounder is Sara). The kids enjoy spending time with their older cousins, and Aunt Jeanne always makes them feel important and loved. Ron and I get to chill on the couch and talk sports, and it's simply a good time all around.


The next day we headed to SLC where the family was gathering. After a few hours at my parents house visiting with Beth, Linda, mom and dad, we headed to my niece, Rebecca and her husband, Davis's, house. They're housesitting for his grandparents while they are on a mission in New York. So, we were able to stay in that lovely home and be the recipients of even lovelier hospitality. Rebecca and Davis, you did yourselves proud. Thanks for taking such good care of us. I especially enjoy watching how much Madison is just drawn to Rebecca. It's really cool. It started 1 1/2 years ago at Beth's wedding when Rebecca took Maddie under her wing. Time did not diminish the affection Maddie has for Rebecca. Nothing is as good for a parent's heart as knowing their children are loved and in good hands. The below pic is from Beth's wedding, but it beautifully captures how comfortable Maddie is with her.

Anyway, they picked up right where they left off, and Rebecca even made them their favorite for dinner--Kraft macaroni & cheese. Woohoo! You just can't beat it. Thanks, Rebecca for the pot stickers and egg rolls for the rest of us--very much preferred to the mac & cheese.

The rest of the SLC visit was just fantastic. We picked up a baptism dress and scriptures for Savannah. Hunter and Maddie were so distraught that they weren't getting scriptures that I went ahead and bought them travel-size copies of the Book of Mormon. It was priceless watching Hunter during the rest of the trip because he would frequently sit down with the book and just read--his finger tracing the words and his lips mouthing them.

The wedding was Friday afternoon at the SLC temple. I met Jordan for the first time, and was not at all surprised that the man Kelsey chose to marry is an absolute gentleman with a confident air coupled with a sense of humility. Very impressive. The wedding was so beautiful. I loved being in the temple and sharing that time with family and friends and especially being there to see Kelsey get married. After spending several days with her in London last year, I gained a real appreciation for the person she is. It is really cool to see nieces and nephews grow up and become an example that I enjoy looking up to.

I also got to meet Heidi's fiance Isaac, who is ridiculously impressive as well. Just surrounded by good people everywhere I turned. I love them all. Thanks Bryon and Sandra for raising Kelsey right so we all had a wonderful excuse to get together.

Now, for a couple of anecdotes: one funny and one serious.

Funny: at the wedding reception Kelsey and Jordan had their first dance and then invited everyone else onto the dance floor. I was dancing with Maddie when Hunter walked up to me with sad eyes and said he needed someone to dance with. I suggested he dance with Savannah, but he told me she was already dancing with Elise. So I suggested Aunt Jeanne, but he said she was too tall. So I apologized and said I was out of ideas. He turned away, and I kept dancing with Maddie. A couple minutes later I spotted him across the dance floor and he had found Jordan's youngest sister, Breanna to dance with. She is also six years old and in kindergarten, and they were an adorable pair. Needless to say, they attracted quite a crowd of picture takers and admirers. So, for those of you who took a picture of this moment please forward to me so I can post it (Brenna is seriously disappointed in me for my lack of picture taking during the trip, but I told her that lots of people took pictures, and I'm expecting my inbox to soon be flooded).

Serious: as we drove away from my parent's house on Saturday leaving the whole family behind I had the most wonderfully conflicting feeling in my heart. I was incredibly anxious to get back home to be with Brenna again, but at the same time I was so sad to be parting from my family. It brought tears to my eyes to think of the incredible influences they have been in my life and in my children's lives. Nothing can compare to the joy of family. From basketball games (side note: Hunter made his first unassisted basket on a 10 foot rim on Saturday) to Easter Egg hunts to E*Trade commercials to M&Ms to Wii to grand snackers and everything in between the past several days have been an absolute joy. Thanks, family. I love you all very much!

Leaps & Bounds

I finally was able to go back to the hospital today and spend some time there with Brenna and Eliza. Brenna very proudly took Eliza through all of her cares and showed me how well Eliza is doing with everything. The nurse was never even involved tonight--Brenna did everything! Bren has really enjoyed being more involved and feeling some sense of being in charge of Eliza's cares and progress. As she continues to grow and gain strength the parents are able to take care of more and more of her needs. It's a wonderful feeling!

As for specific developments this week, Eliza is progressing by leaps and bounds. She is up to 4 lb 11 oz and gaining daily. Tomorrow will be six weeks since she was born, and she has added about 2 lbs since then. It's fantastic to watch her grow. Brenna worked really hard on the nurses this week to get them to allow Eliza to take the bottle. Thursday was technically Eliza's 34 week mark, so Bren was pushing for her to try the bottle that day. The nurse was hesitant because they generally round down on the day of birth to the nearest week. So, in their records when they say she was born at 28 weeks, that means 28 weeks exactly. Consequently, the nurse felt that Eliza wouldn't be 34 weeks until tomorrow. Brenna persisted, so the nurse, with trepidation, allowed her to feed Eliza from a bottle. They had just upped her feeding amount to 40 cc's that day, so the nurse was doubly concerned. Well, the concern was unfounded. Brenna said Eliza just attacked the bottle and downed it completely without any trouble. The nurse was absolutely astounded at how well she did. So they have continued to feed her from the bottle, and she continues to do very well. They started with two bottle feedings a day (again, this was on Thursday), and when we showed up tonight the gavage was gone and Eliza is now being completely fed by the bottle. She took 70 cc's tonight and polished it off in about 20 minutes or so. Like I said a few weeks ago--a regular Paul Bunyan!

She also passed her hearing test today and hasn't had a brady for several days. The nurse tonight told us that she believes Eliza doesn't understand how old she is. They are simply floored by her progress, and we are very grateful to be participating observants (I'm pretty sure that's not a proper phrase, and generally people don't observe something and yet participate at the same time, but that's what we're doing here).

So, I guess what I'm getting at is that if things continue to go well, the timeframe for her triumphant discharge is going to be sooner rather than later. I will continue to tell people probably four weeks away or so, just to limit my own hopes and expectations, but in my heart I believe it will be much, much sooner than that. Eliza has exceeded all expectations, and we are thrilled with her tenacious spirit.

Leaps and bounds, indeed (shout out to Trent with the usage of that word!).

A few pics and a new video:


So peaceful. (We did have to ask the guard bunny to stand down to get a clear shot of her for this pic).


Brenna feeding Eliza her 70 cc bottle Sunday evening.


Still pretty tiny. It's hard to tell in this pic, but the blue pacifier is a regular full size. If you remember the purple one from the first few weeks, she has graduated to the larger size. It's still ridiculously huge in her mouth, but at least she's getting the real mccoy now.



There is no question in my mind that Eliza loves her mommy!