Sunday, January 25, 2009

Daddy's Girl

I just finished putting Eliza to bed.  It's hard to believe that next month she will be a year old.  Watching her learn and grow has been the most amazing experience.  The kids, Brenna and I are all simply enthralled by every little thing she does.  It's fun to watch her learning how to crawl and sit up, and she's even started pulling herself up to standing position now.  All standard fare for the first year of a baby's life, but remembering how hard she worked just to get here to our home with us makes us treasure every little thing she does.  

It's been particularly rewarding for me, because she treats me like a rock star!  As far as she's concerned Daddy is the greatest person on earth.  I was sitting with her in Sunday School today, and my friend, Jared, took her to hold her for a second.  She immediately reached her arms out to me making it clear that she had no intention of letting someone else hold her when Daddy was so close by.  Not unusual that a child would behave in such fashion toward someone who is not her parent, you say?  True.  However, when you see her do the same thing to Mommy, you'll know how cool she thinks Daddy is.  Observe . . .




Fortunately Brenna takes it all in stride and is glad Eliza loves her dad.  We laugh about it frequently and are just glad she's home with us.  Here's to being a parent!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Long Time

Clearly blogging has not been high on my priority list for the last few months.  No real reason, my interest just waxes and wanes.  Given that it has just waned for several months let's hope some good waxing is on the way!

A few things actually compel me to record some thoughts this evening.  First, the inauguration of Barack Obama and second, some changes at church.

I may as well say up front that I did not vote for Obama, but I was not unhappy that he won the election.  And, as I have watched events since election night it seems to me that his presence in the White House may be able to bring this country together in way that hasn't happened since 9/11.  Trying times tend to focus our energies and attentions--just as 9/11 did.  Now, again, we are faced with trying times and Obama has a singular opportunity to take advantage of the nation's collective attention.  When the people get behind a president, the president can make things happen.  The question is whether they are the right things.  And, honestly, it's pretty close to impossible to know in the heat of the moment when something is right from a historical perspective.  Obama has my attention and my admiration.  I hope he will also have my long-term gratitude.

The inauguration itself was beautiful, in my opinion.  I've spent my share of time on the National Mall in DC, and it was simply stunning to see so many people gathered there today.  I loved the camera shots that looked out from the Capitol across the reflecting pond to the Washington Monument and all the way to the Lincoln Memorial.  All of it covered in people.  In Americans there to participate in history and to show support for our new president.  That by itself was very impressive.  Add to that spectacle the significance of the event and the grandeur of the ceremony, and it was a great day, indeed, to be an American.  

I loved Aretha Franklin's "My Country 'Tis of Thee," and the subtle nod she gave to MLK with her quiet inclusion of references to Georgia and Alabama at the end.  I particularly loved the quartet performing John Williams's arrangement of Copeland's Appalachian Spring.  I was struck as much by the composition of the quartet as by the composition itself.  A Jew, an Asian, an African American and a woman combined to elicit from me a sense of wonder and joy based on the music they created.  I thought it was a fantastic tribute both in song and in appearance to what is possible.

I even enjoyed Justice Roberts's bungling of the administration of the Oath.  It simply made it feel more real and memorable.  Then came the speech, which was fantastic as is par for the course with Obama.  I'm really glad that he called us all out and basically said we were lazy and that the blame for the mortgage and financial meltdown belongs with all of us.  We all contributed to this society that idolizes greed and carelessness.  In fact those who were able to combine greed and carelessness often seemed to get most of the public's adoration.  With the mortgage benders so many of us went on simply because we could (never mind whether we should) we all contributed.  Now is our chance to show ourselves worthy to be called the descendants of our parents and grandparents and restore to our economy and this country the dignity and strength which have simply been taken for granted as a birthright for too long.  Yes, the speech stirred something in me as I had imagined it would.

Most of all I enjoyed the moment--I believe it was during the quartet--that showed Obama from behind and above as he sat looking over the assemblage.  Truthfully a tear ran down my cheek as I thought to myself, "I hope he can deliver on all of this goodwill.  I hope he can achieve those things he has set before us all."  I hope we can all work together to effect the change that he champions.

Along with 9/11 this may be the seminal American event in my lifetime to date.

I suppose that is enough on today's events.  Now to something more personal.  Given that I no longer attempt to keep a written journal anywhere but here, I feel compelled to record some feelings about the experiences I have had for nearly the past five years.  

In May 2004 I was called to serve in the bishopric of our ward.  I was very humbled by such a calling and felt wholly inadequate.  I'm guessing many of you can relate to those feelings--not unique or unusual.  It didn't take me long to realize what a tremendous trust individuals and families place in bishopric members.  Before being in the bishopric I would sit in the congregation with my family and look at the people around me and assume their lives were wonderful.  Sitting on the stand provides a completely different perspective.  I learned of people's struggles that I would never have been able to guess at.  I was fortunate to participate in individual and familial triumphs that provided incredible joy.  The experience was a true cornucopia of life lessons and spiritual growth.  

Earlier this month I was released from the bishopric.  People don't know whether to tell you congratulations or not with something like that.  In my heart I felt that I had provided the service in that calling that the Lord needed of me.  I learned many lessons and gained a better understanding of myself and the many things I need to do better.  We all have so far to go, and I gained an appreciation of that fact for me, personally, while I served in the bishopric.  

Our stake president asked me and Brenna to bear our testimonies on the Sunday I was released.  I don't remember much of what I said, but I do remember some of my thoughts.

While serving in the bishopric I saw and heard things that truly broke my heart.  But I also experienced things that brought incredible joy into my life.  And I experienced all emotions in between.  I had personal conversations with so many people--people I never would have made the opportunity to get to know if not for the calling which I held.  I found that I loved conversing with people about the things that were most important to them, and above all I learned that when it comes down to it, people just want . . . to be loved.  And that is what Christ provides for us all--love.  The Atonement is an act of perfect love and enables us to spread the love of Christ to all.  We can love and serve, and if we love and serve, eventually the Father's plan will be carried out.  Love and service coupled with an understanding of our purpose can enable us to achieve amazing things that benefit us as individuals, our families, our neighbors and society in general.  Not surprising that that is how the Father works.

Brenna said some beautiful things and paid me compliments that I don't deserve.  She and the children deserve all the credit in the world for being so faithful and supportive of me as I tried to do what we all believed was right.  I feel that we have been rewarded for the way in which we worked together as a family while I was in the bishopric.  I can't think of anything more precious than having a wife and children who love you.  I believe that is the pinnacle of manhood and achievement.  I hope that I can stay there.

I suppose I should conclude.  I do so by returning to the things I learned while in the bishopric. People deal with struggles we would never guess at.  The power of the human spirit is remarkable.  I love the way Victor Hugo describes it in my favorite book, Les Miserables:

"[T]here are many great deeds done in the small struggles of life.  There is a determined though unseen bravery, which defends itself foot to foot in the darkness against the fatal invasions of necessity and of baseness.  Noble and mysterious triumphs which no eye sees, which no renown rewards, which no flourish of triumph salutes.  Life, misfortunes, isolation, abandonment, poverty, are battlefields which have their heroes; sometimes greater than the illustrious heroes."