Day 2

Nothing but good news today. Brenna is able to get up and walk a bit, and she is in good spirits on the whole. The pain isn't fun, but the most frustrating aspect of the current situation is that she is not able to have Eliza with her. Hard to be separated from your brand new baby. But at least she was able to go down to the NICU and spend some time with the little one. Brenna will come home on Thursday, and we are certainly looking forward to that. There is nothing like being together.

Brooke flew in this morning, and we are so grateful to have her here. The kids love having Grandma here, and it's just such a relief to have another adult to talk to and help make decisions. We're so glad for both sets of grandparents. They do an amazing job.

As for Eliza, she is progressing marvelously. They took the oxygen tube off and she is now breathing wholly on her own. They do have a rather large tube taped to her face, though (you'll see pics below), and that is basically blowing air at her that forces her to keep her lungs open. So, they are providing help, but technically she is breathing on her own. They also have a tube down into her stomach that is slowly dripping formula to her. They will soon be using mom's milk there and that will be great. Other than that there really isn't a lot else to report today. They think we'll be able to hold her in a couple of days, and that will be so wonderful. I've said it before, but she is just a marvel. I love gazing at her.

The biggest frustration today was that we twice went down to see her and the NICU was closed because they were doing surgery on another baby. It's difficult because we really want to see our baby, but we definitely understand how important surgery is for these little people. So, what that means is we didn't get to spend as much time with her as we would have liked, but we made the most of the time we did have. We chatted with her and I softly sang several hymns and primary songs. That was an opportunity I will always cherish. I think tomorrow I will bring a story and start reading to her. Wonderful experiences. Well, without further ado here are some new pics from today:

Mom and baby. I'm fond of this pic because I think it really captures what Brenna is all about. Just a lovely moment.

More evidence of how tiny she is. Note the big blue tube at her face. That is what is blowing the air that forces her to keep her lungs open. The black eye cover is just what it looks like--giving her relief from light. She is under the bright lights for jaundice treatment, and the doctors say she is doing well. For those who know about these things her APGAR scores were 7 after 1 minute and 9 after 5 minutes.

What an experience--just holding her tiny hand.

Like I said, I love just gazing at her.

My turn to hold her tiny hand.

I love this--a little defiant fist thrown out to show she will succeed. The NICU nurses have refer to her as "feisty" and "a fighter." They also call her "the giant" because she is bigger than most of the pre-30 week premies they see. All of those names sound great to me.

OK, tomorrow is a new day. One day closer to Bren coming home, and one day closer to Eliza coming home, too, for that matter.

Welcome Eliza!

Last evening things took a bit of a turn for the worse with Brenna and the baby. The docs were concerned with drops in the heart rate and various other signs that were obvious changes from how things had been the last several days. But, while I and the kids were still there, everything stabilized and things looked good. So I took the kids home, we got some sleep and all seemed set up for Brenna to continue her stay in the hospital.

Brenna and I talked this morning, and she said that things had changed a bit again overnight and the docs were keeping a close eye on her. So I took the kids down in the early afternoon, and we were just hanging out, chatting and eating a few snacks. Brenna was hooked up to the monitors, and the heart rated dropped a time or two, but things would soon stabilize and all appeared OK. But about 2:30 in the afternoon the signs took a turn for the worse again, and the doc told Brenna it was time. So, one of the kind nurses took the children to the lobby to watch some cartoons, and I gave my folks and Brenna's folks a quick call to let them know that birth was imminent. I then called our dear friend Teri, and she got in her car and came down to the hospital to pick up the kids (thanks for everything, Teri!). The docs got some scrubs for me and I changed and watched through the window as they gave Bren an epidural (not sure that's what they call it with a c-section, but you get the idea).

After she had the epidural they allowed me to go into the surgery room. Bren was awake, but soon completely numb from the chest down. Once there, the docs performed the c-section (absolutely amazing, by the way, but I don't think it's wise to go into detail here) and pulled the little baby right out. Time of birth: 3:55PM. After a few seconds the baby made some crying noises and took a few breaths all on her own. This probably doesn't need to be said, but since Bren was only 28 weeks along, the baby was absolutely tiny. Amazingly well formed and just perfect to look at, but incredibly small. She has lots of black hair, just like her sisters when they were newborns. Very fun to see that similarity. The neo-natal docs then took the baby and got her on some oxygen and under the heat lamp. They also put some meds in her to ensure her lungs would function properly. The little one took it all in stride and seemed perfectly at home in the doctor's care--not a worry in the world. One of the docs pointed out a couple of external signs on the baby that indicated the baby had been starting to have stress in the womb, and that it was good she was delivered when she was. He said it was good timing and good work by the obstetricians. I am certainly grateful for that.

Meanwhile, the obstetrician was stitching Brenna up. Bren really wanted to be with and hold the baby, but of course, she was in no position to do so. But she kept looking over, and it was touching to be reminded of the immediate bond between mother and child. You could see Brenna's heart was with the baby. Soon enough Bren was stitched up and the baby was ready to be moved to the NICU, and they wrapped her up and let Brenna hold her for just a few moments. I will always have that beautiful memory.

Then they took the baby to the NICU, and I went with them. Once there, they weighed her, measured her and her stats are 2 lb 14 oz and 15 3/4 inches. I can't believe how small that is, and I reflected that not too many years ago this poor child wouldn't have had a chance. But today, things are looking absolutely fantastic for her. What a blessing! Here is a video of her shortly after she was admitted to the NICU. I especially love the beginning because she is moving around a bit!

After spending a decent amount of time in the NICU I went back to check on Brenna. Suffice to say that having a c-section is not easy. My dear wife needs some rest and recovery time, and I am glad she will get just that.

We have been batting around baby names for a little while, and we're still not fully settled, but we think her name will be Eliza. Not sure if we'll make the actual name Elizabeth and call her Eliza or just stick with Eliza. We'll see over the next few days.

I have a few pictures of the day to share:

Here she is in the NICU. She has a tube going down her throat and into her lungs to ensure she's getting enough oxygen. The docs hope she will be off of that in two or three days. She is being fed intravenously, with the IV going straight into the little umbilical cord stump. Pretty cool!

Close up. Aaaaw! (I love her.)

I didn't realize I had this thing in sideways, and I'm too lazy to change it now. But after what my wife just went through I'm looking waaaaaay too happy. (I think I am a little justified, though.)

Yes, delivering a baby definitely takes a lot out of you--especially when you don't get too really hold and bond with the baby immediately after. It's been really tough on Bren to have her whisked away so quickly. Fortunately, Bren will probably be wheelchair mobile tomorrow, and then will be able to come home Thursday or Friday. So she'll have opportunities to spend time with Eliza, and then will be able to be with family shortly thereafter. Lots of trips to the hospital in the near future.

And here is one for a little perspective. That's my wedding ring you see there. Note the size of the diaper as well as the fact that the thing covering her face is one of those newborn caps they put on babies. Tiny! Docs advised that we should plan on Eliza being in the hospital until her original due date (May 8), but did leave a window of hope that she might be ready to come home a few weeks before that. We'll see how it goes.

I am firmly convinced that Eliza decided when she was going to be born. Savannah was sad the other night because she was missing her mom and was worried about the baby. So she and I had a little chat, and I told her that the baby knew what was going on. She realized we'd just celebrated Maddie's and Savannah's birthdays, and that there was no way she was going to be left out of the February girl birthday brigade. That brought a smile to Savannah's face. It's comforting to think that your little sister knows who you are and knows about the family. You may smile and say it's all coincidence, but I don't believe it for a moment. Eliza wanted to be born in February--of that I am certain.

After I picked the kids up from the Esplins tonight, Savannah happily pointed out that I was right--Eliza did decide to come in February. It was a sweet moment.

We are blessed and very fortunate. Thank you to the amazing doctors, nurses and other hospital personnel for their expertise and care. Thank you to family members and friends for your support and prayers. They have been very well put to use. Thank you to our ward members who have gone above and beyond any expectations we may have had in making this experience as easy as it possibly could be on Brenna and the children. I really haven't had to do much of anything except show up. People are wonderful. Thank you to our school community. The families of Hunter's friends have taken Hunter under their wing and made sure he's had plenty to do in those hours between when kindergarten ends and dad finished working. We have amazing people in our lives, and we love you all.

And, we love the Lord. His spirit has been felt throughout the past several days and last evening Bren and I received unmistakable assurances that everything would turn out well. We feel loved and cared for, and we are so grateful because we know there are many, many people who have not had things turn out so well for them. Our hearts go out to all such, as we can't imagine such a trial.

Welcome to our family, Eliza!

Hospital Update

The latest news is that the placenta is slowly pulling away from the uterus wall. So Brenna is bleeding more than she had been, and that concerns her, but the docs say everything is still OK. What it truly means is that Brenna is going to make it 8 more weeks (to 35 total weeks) before she delivers this baby. They can't really give an estimate of when it will be, but they are fairly certain she won't make it to 35 weeks. So, we continue praying and waiting. Brenna still feels well and looks great too. The baby's heartbeat is strong and she shows no signs of distress. We're very optimistic, but we know that this baby might be extremely early, and that is so worrisome. But the mantra is "one day at a time," so that's what we're trying to do.

The toughest part of the non-hospital side of things is just getting to spend time with Bren. Once everything is said and done (kids getting home from school, dinner, getting organized, etc.) we only get two to three hours with her, which is tough on all of us, but especially on Brenna. Two or three hours out of 24 certainly isn't a large proportion. I know she desperately misses being mom and spending time with us all.

Thank goodness for our friends in the ward and community. Several ladies have been down to visit Brenna already, and I know several more have plans to do so. Brenna has such a giving heart and kind disposition that she has the blessing of many folks feeling comfortable around her and enjoying being her friend. What wonderful attributes to have. Too bad I'm such a slow learner in that regard or she could teach me a thing or two! But it has been nice to hear of visits from dear friends in the ward. I am so grateful for them.

Tomorrow is Savannah's birthday, so I decided to just completely take the day off work and spend it with the kids. They get out of school early on Wednesdays, so it's a perfect opportunity to spend a few extra precious hours with mom. The challenge is Maddie, who grows restless in the small hospital room. She does her best to keep us entertained--unfortunately, it's not always entertaining!

So, I guess the short message is that the delivery is drawing near, but we don't know how near. Both mom and baby are doing well, and we're very appreciative of all the support--visits, prayers, people watching the kids while I work, meals and just the wonderful love that we feel from so many folks.

Hospital

Well, the trials of pregnancy continue. After having been bed-ridden for about six weeks during her first trimester Brenna is back in the hospital at the beginning of her third trimester. She was having some spotting and cramping through Friday night, so she called the doc Saturday morning, and we went in so the doc could get a better idea of what was going on. While there, the doc discovered that there was very little amniotic fluid and that the amniotic sack had likely ruptured. One possible reason for such a rupture is infection, and if infection has crept in then the baby needs to be delivered.

So, not good news there. In addition, because Bren is only 27 weeks along she couldn't stay at our normal hospital because they can't handle premies earlier than 30 weeks. So they sent us to Presbyterian/St. Luke's downtown. Apparently, they're the best premie care center around and have a fantastic NICU. We're grateful for that. When we got there, the docs took a look via ultrasound and concurred that very little amniotic fluid was present thereby making it difficult to take a sample and test for infection. So, they put Bren on antibiotics and told her they would watch for normal signs of infection--tenderness, fever, etc. They also indicated that the baby could stay in the womb as long as possible unless one of three factors was present--infection, the body naturally begins the delivery process or the baby is under stress. Well, the body is not trying to deliver, and the baby is not under stress--normal heart rate, normal signs of growth, etc., and because no signs of infection (other than the ruptured amniotic sack) have exhibited themselves, they are not going down the road of early delivery. This is good because 28 weeks is a real bellweather mark in determining how well a premie will do. And, of course, the more weeks tacked on the better and easier the transition from womb to the world.

In addition, the baby is in breach position currently and therefore, they would perform a C-section if they were going to take the baby early. Certainly not the worst thing in the world, but something we would choose to avoid if we can. Also, the baby is only 2 lb 9 oz right now and that just seems so unbelievably tiny. So, Brenna is at the hospital while I and the children are here at home.

The good news is that Bren and the baby both seem very healthy and we have every reason to be completely optimistic that everything will turn out just fine. The bad news is that it looks like Bren has a prolonged hospital stay ahead of her. This will be challenging for many reasons (school, work, emotional, etc.), but it is certainly something we feel we will be able to meet head on.

We have an amazing ward and friends in the community. Our families rally around us, and we feel incredibly blessed. I have felt the Spirit very strongly over the last few days and I continue to be amazed and the kindness and goodness people exhibit. We have seen many Christ-like examples during this pregnancy, and our hope is that we can learn from these examples and reach out to others in like manner. The Lord is good, and I, personally, am grateful for his guiding hand.

Caucus

Last night Brenna and I participated in our voting precinct's caucus. Never done that before. I'm still not clear why some states use the caucus approach while others use the primary approach, but I did learn a few valuable things last night. First and foremost, I liked the caucus. Though it was definitely more time consuming than just showing up and voting in a primary, it engendered much more of a community feeling. We had about 40 people show up from our precinct, and it was well worth the time to be able to meet some of them and have an open dialog with them. We voted for two to represent our precinct at the county caucus later on this month. Five people wanted to represent us, but we could only have two. So each person took about half a minute to introduce themself and explain why they wanted to be the precinct representative. Then we voted. I got to be the precinct "mouthpiece" during the caucus, which was fun. So I did my best to explain the purpose of the caucus and the items that needed to be decided. A bit humorous as it was something of the blind leading the blind. But a good experience.

All in all, I highly recommend the caucus format. A bit confusing, certainly, but it made me feel more like I was part of America, because I was actually a part of the community. I don't create that opportunity for myself often enough, so I appreciate when it is presented to me.